


Fallbrook Confessions

by TragicallyAlissa



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Felix is adorable, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Morosexual, Mutual Pining, Overthinking, Please read, Sexual Frustration, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-13 09:10:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21491869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TragicallyAlissa/pseuds/TragicallyAlissa
Summary: With someone like Nyoka as your wing woman, what could go wrong in pursuing romance?Apparently, quite a bit. Especially when the two involved are awkward and bull headed.Chapters will be marked with an E so if you don’t like the sexy fun times you can skip or something.
Relationships: The Captain/Felix Millstone
Comments: 21
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This may be a bit slow at times, but I'm working through things outside of this fic, so please be patient with me :)

There’s a term for people like me. I remember all of my friends on Earth teasing me for falling in love with complete idiots. Morophilia or morosexual; being sexually/romantically attracted to people with significantly lower IQ. And in this case, my eyes were on Felix Millstone. 

To be fair, he’s rather intelligent for someone that grew up in the belly of the Groundbreaker. He’s just incredibly idealistic and gullible, which definitely worried me when he first joined the crew but he’s proven himself capable of many things time and time again. 

I noticed I was falling for him when he gave me a goofy smile as he bumped into the railing on his way upstairs. The way my heart seized up when he flung a smile or a wink at me drove me crazy. I didn’t know how to confront these feelings, let alone confront Felix. How would he even take it? He’s a kid compared to me! I know he’s 22, but even overlooking my time on the Hope, I’m 7 years older than him. 

A gentle hand on my shoulder startles me and I look up at Parvati. Her curly hair is tucked behind her ear and the smell of mock apple and synthamon fills the air. “You didn’t have to wait up for me, Captain.” 

“What have I told you about calling me, Captain? Only the vicar can call me that.” I stretch as she giggles nervously. 

“Sorry, Violet. I’m just real scared, I haven’t been on a proper date in ages. Heck, I haven’t truly liked anyone in ages and folk don’t really pay me attention.”

I firmly grasp her shoulders to level my gaze with hers, “We ran all around Halcyon for this date. We’ve fought Canids, Raptidons, Mantisaurs, hell we killed a Mega Mantiqueen. All of that for one woman and if she doesn’t appreciate it then you’re better off without her because you’re incredible and you’ve got this.” I give her shoulder a squeeze of reassurance as her brown eyes filled with determination. 

“You’re right! If I can do all of that I can go through a date just fine! Thanks, Violet.” She hugs me hard before squaring her shoulders and marching out of the Unreliable. 

I grab my overcoat and step toward the door, “Lock up behind me Ada, only open up if it’s a crew member.” 

“Try to avoid damaging yourself and others.” Ada’s robotic voice echoed through the hall. “And please don’t leave Felix here again. His curiosity makes my hard drive short circuit, and not in a good way.” 

Felix is still on the ship? “Felix?” I shout, looking up to see if I could hear him from the kitchen but a clatter behind me causes me to jump and turn around. 

Felix was standing there with a crooked smile, “Sorry boss, I didn’t know when to pop out.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I- uh, overheard you and Parvati as I was coming down but I didn’t want to interrupt so I hid here until you finished. Don’t be mad.” He tried to smile but it looked awkward and it warmed by heart. 

“Why would I be mad? You were being respectful. Now come on, everyone else is enjoying some time off, you should too.” We step off the Unreliable and follow Parvati past Customs and into the heart of the Groundbreaker. 

I knew Niyoka was in The Lost Hope, out drinking everybody inside. Ellie often chats up Jessie Doyle when we dock and I’ve noticed Max has taken a liking to Lilya Hagen, although it seems one-sided. The last time we docked at the Groundbreaker Felix stayed onboard and bombarded Ada with questions about the ship’s inner workings and tried to convince her to listen to the latest aether wave or tossball game. 

As far as I knew, Felix didn’t have many friends on the Groundbreaker. He had no hesitation to board my ship within knowing me for an hour. I wasn’t very surprised he followed Parvati and me to the engine room. I only came with as support so she doesn’t lose her nerve. 

Felix leaned against the wall as Parvati separated Junlei from Edna Ingmire, the second-best engineer on the Groundbreaker. She looked a bit miffed as they went off to Junlei’s office and turned her attention on Felix. I remembered the way she looked at him the last time we docked and jealousy started simmering in my chest when they started chatting about tossball. 

Instead of waiting for Parvati, I interrupt their conversation, earning a small huff from Edna. “So how’s the Groundbreaker been since I fixed your heating issue?” 

“It’s fine but we never run out of problems around here. First, it was the heating and then it was the stench of rotting mantipillars, and now it’s the communication.” 

Despite not wanting to, my interest was piqued. “Communication issues? How so?”

“The Groundbreaker’s backup relay went offline a while ago and now the main one’s about to be occluded by one of Halcyon’s gas giants for the next few months. We’re gonna be completely cut off and won’t be able to send or receive messages.”

“Can’t ships deliver messages? It’ll be slow but it could work.” 

“No corp ship is going to deliver messages to their competitors, and if they did the upcharge would be insane.” 

“What about the Board? Can’t you ask them to help? They have investments in the Groundbreaker.”

“The Board doesn’t give two shits what we get or don’t get as long as the people of Byzantium get their aether wave serials. Even if they assisted with delivering messages, the average citizen aboard the Groundbreaker wouldn’t be able to afford the price the Board would offer.” 

As much as I didn’t want to believe that it did sound on par with what the Board would do. “Fuck the Board.” 

Felix smirked and nodded sharply, “Yeah, you tell ‘em, Boss!” 

Edna looks at him, “Simmer down, Felix.” She turns a disapproving eye at me, “Look, you got the boy all riled up.” 

I roll my eyes and clap Felix on the shoulder, “Trust me, Ms. Ingmire, he’s a bigger boy than you think.” I phrased it to suggest something more, even though it’s not like that, and she glared at me.

I notice Felix staring at me but when I try to meet his eyes he quickly looks away and smiles at Edna, “Exactly. What if the Cap and I go take a look at the backup relay thing?” 

Edna studies us for a moment and shrugs, “That would be great but I doubt you’d know what to do without an experienced engineer familiar with the Groundbreaker equipment.” 

I bristled at that. I mean, how else am I supposed to react to that? I was chosen to be on the Hope from a long list of candidates. I was one of the best in my field, granted it wasn’t engineering but I’m proud to say I know my way around engines and machinery. 

Felix speaks up before I have the chance to, “Don’t worry about that, Violet’s smart, she can figure it out.” It warmed my chest that he defended my intelligence to the woman that has a crush on him. 

She stares me down as if trying to find something else to nit-pick but I make up her mind for her, “Unless you’re sending a team to go fix it, you’re not gonna have comms for months, so I’m your best bet. I fixed your heating, I can fix your relay. Believe me, we’ve dealt with far more challenging things.” 

She huffs slightly, knowing I’m right but not liking it. “Fine. But I’m going to write you a detailed list of instructions for when you get there.” 

“Yeah, you do that.” I shake my head and sit on the steps by the promenade, watching people go about their business. 

A shrill laugh startles me and I notice a small child perhaps around 5, being swung onto her father’s shoulder as her mother holds a serene smile. It… hurt to watch. A lot of things hurt nowadays, with constant reminders of how I don’t belong here, how I wasn’t meant to live up to this point. This isn’t my life. I should’ve been the one to create all of this, to put things in place correctly so it wouldn’t need saving 70 years down the line, but here I am. Scurrying around Halcyon trying to smush broken pieces back together again. 

The worst part is knowing all of the people I knew in Britain are either withering away or dead already. It’s incredibly lonely knowing I’m the only one in Halcyon to ever step foot on Earth. It doesn’t help that people give me odd looks at the sound of my accent. Granted I spent time in the U.S. before being launched into space, but my English accent is still fairly strong. The most accent I’ve heard out here is a slight Southern twang, but even that is uncommon. 

Felix leans on the railing next to me, “You good, boss?” 

I straighten up and smooth my vest down, “Yeah, of course. Superb. Did you talk to Ms. Ingmire?” I couldn’t help the tiny bit of irritation that slipped through. 

He looks at me for a moment, trying to read my shift in attitude but sighs, “I did. She gave me the instructions but I figured you didn’t want them so I threw them away.” 

I nod in approval. The kid can definitely be perceptive. “Good. We don’t need Ms. Ingmire’s assistance.” 

His face tightens as if holding back a smile and his eyes filled with awe. He doesn’t say anything but the air around him was excited. 

“What is it, Felix?” 

He bites his lip but leans forward, “Could you teach me how to talk like that? It’s so cool and mysterious, like one of those detective serials where this stranger comes to town and nobody knows who he is or what he wants.” 

God, this kid manages to pull down my walls like it’s nothing. Despite being asked about my accent nearly every day in America and getting annoyed every single time, I didn’t mind Felix asking. It made sense for him to be curious and I couldn’t hold that against him.

“Alright, what do you want to know?” 

  
While we waited for Parvati to finish up with Junlei, I talked about life in London before I left Earth and the entire time he listened attentively. 

He tried to copy my accent and for the first time, it wasn’t too bad. It was a rough Devon sounding accent with stretched vowels and hard consonants mixed with a bit of Cockney. Much different from mine but with practice, it could be a lot better. 

He took my advice in stride and kept practicing the vowels. A woman passing gave us an odd look and Felix frowned at her and told her off with the accent. I laughed and watched the way his eyebrows furrowed and a cute line above the bridge of his nose appeared. 

His gaze meets mine as I’m watching the minuscule reactions and I blush, hoping he didn’t notice how hard I was looking. 

“You okay, Boss?” Felix steps in closer and peers into my eyes, immediately setting off my pulse and making it harder to breathe normally. 

I smile and resist the urge to lean in, “I’m all good, just uh- thirsty.” But not for water. I cut that line of thinking off before it showed on my face. 

I wanted to shove his face away with his cute grin and stupid dopey eyes. “Whatever you say, Boss.” He throws a wink at me and my breath catches in my throat at the way he called me boss, almost as if he knew how I felt. But that would be impossible. I’ve been so careful to keep it hidden, to keep myself in check. God, if he knew… I’d probably throw myself off of a cliff. 

A familiar laugh behind us saves me from embarrassing myself further and a cheerful-looking Parvati bites her lip as she approaches. She shakes her head as I open my mouth to ask how it went. “Can we talk on the ship? There are too many people right now.” 

Parvati’s excitement explodes as soon as we get to the docking bay as she skips and turns to me with a bright smile, “She said yes! Oh, Law, she looked so happy when I asked and I was so nervous! She really liked that wisp I picked from Edgewater, said she’d never actually been and loved how soft it was.” She gives me a large hug, squeezing me hard, “Thank you so much, Captain! I’ve never been so… so-”

“Happy?” Felix supplies for her and she nods with enthusiasm. 

“She got rid of my nerves really quick, too. Said she was relieved I asked first. My heart’s going a hundred miles right now, I could die!” She clutched her chest with a small squeal as she skips into the ship. 

“Wish I could find something like that…” Felix mutters beside me. I glance at him as he gazes after Parvati with a forlorn look in his eye. 

What about me? My heart wanted me to ask, but it never made it’s way out, opting to pat his shoulder in agreement. “At least you’ve got me and the crew now. It may not be as… intimate as you’d hope but it’s something.” 

Felix’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes as he nods and makes his way upstairs. 

I sigh. It was difficult not being able to be open about my feelings for him but it’s for his own good. He really loves it here and considering I’m the captain, he’d probably feel pressured to accept my advances despite not feeling the same and I won’t put him in that position because I want to fuck him. 

But you love him. No. I can’t. I shouldn’t. God, why did this have to be so complicated? Why can’t I just convince myself that I don’t have feelings for Felix fucking Millstone? I mentally berate myself as I shoo Sam away from Ada and activate the homing signals for Nyoka, Max, and Ellie to get them back to the ship. 

Parvati jimmy-rigged this little set up when our crew expanded with Felix and Ellie. It sent a sound through a bracelet to alert whoever to regroup at The Unreliable. It was incredibly genius and very useful for when I didn’t want to hunt down Nyoka or Ellie. 

It took about 5 minutes for Max to meander back, but close to 20 for Nyoka to stumble inside. I tried asking about Ellie but she gave me a shrug as she clambered upstairs. I beeped her bracelet again and lean in my chair, slightly frustrated. If she was more than 5 minutes I was gonna take off without her. 

She comes running down the dock as I tap at the nav pad, completely ready to leave and heave a sigh for Ada to let the ramp down. 

Ellie leans in the doorway, breathing hard. “Sorry, Cap.” She wipes her forehead with a smile, “Jess was taking her time getting me off even when I told her that you called.” 

“I-It’s fine, Ellie. Just head upstairs.” I tap in the coordinates and Ada takes off. 


	2. Chapter 2

The relay station was full of auto mechanicals, of course. Not a single living being. Turns out there was a man by the name of Frey who had taken refuge there on account of hearing whispers in his head. It was obvious he had a mental illness. He wrote things about crimson running through the streets and wrapping crimson around his boss’s neck until her throat opened up. He went to GB-23 to escape the whispers but with all of the messages going through the relay the whispering in his head didn’t stop so he shut it down before killing himself. It was unfortunate that he didn’t get the help he needed, but Edna didn’t seem to care about that. She was more than happy to ignore that bit and pay me to get rid of me. 

With the payment, I took the crew down to the bar for some drinks, much to Nyoka’s delight. She sat with me as she chugged Spectrum Vodka from the bottle. Felix sat at the bar, chatting away with a couple guys about the latest news on tossball. Parvati was in the engine room with Junlei while Ellie and Max bought some wine and went their own ways. 

I took a liking to the Purpleberry Liqueur for the sweet sting of finely fermented berries and delicate distillation. 

Nyoka was talking to me about someone named Velma back on Monarch but my attention was on Felix, who was entertaining the female barkeep he seemed to know. Jealousy pooled in my gut and I took a long drink of alcohol to remind myself I had no right to feel that way. 

Telling myself to get over him wasn’t working very well, so I choke down some vodka to punch my senses in the face. Nyoka snatches the bottle from my hand, spilling some of it on my shirt. 

“Bloody hell, Nyoka! What was that for?” I glare at her as I rub away the strong alcohol with a napkin. 

“I see what you’re doing, Violet. I’m not gonna let you do this to yourself.” She marches to the bar with the bottles, exchanging them for different ones, whispering something to Felix on her way back. He turns in his stool to glance back at me with worry and I scowl, hating to be left in the dark. 

As Nyoka sits down she sets down a bottle of Purpleberry Juice and Mo-Ap Fizzy Tea. 

“I want to get drunk, why did you bring these?” I push them away and cross my arms, vaguely aware that I look like a child. 

She pushes the juice towards me and my thirst gets the better of me and I begrudgingly drink some. “Why don’t you just ask Felix out?” 

I choke on the juice and it finds its way up my nose, causing me to cough and sputter at the painful burning behind my eyes as I dry my mouth and nose. I sniffle trying to get rid of the tingling and I shoot her a dirty look. “You could’ve killed me just then, you know?” 

She shrugs, “But you’re fine, see? Now answer my question.” 

Not really sure how to answer, I feign ignorance, “I don’t know what you mean. Why would I ask Felix out?” 

She just raises her eyebrow and stares at me. She doesn’t say anything for a straight minute and I start to crack under the pressure. 

“Alright, alright! Jeez, how the hell did you know?” I coddle the juice in my hands as if it were my ego. 

“Please, it’s so obvious! We’ve been betting on who would make the first move but y’all have been dancing around for months so I decided to take it upon myself to give you a hand.” 

I gawk at her incredulously, “You’ve been…betting? On Felix and I? Why-how?” 

“Girl, you’re really bad at keeping it a secret. Any time he says something stupid you make googly eyes at him and blush when he talks to you. Why haven’t you hopped on his train yet?” 

I stutter to find a suitable explanation but fail to come up with one in time. 

“Do you even know how he looks at you? Have you not noticed how he hangs onto your words like you’re a superhero from one of his serials?” Nyoka looked exasperated as she gestured to Felix sitting at the bar. 

I grab her hand and hiss, “Oy, stop! He might see!” She sighs and I shake my head, “Even if he likes me I can’t act on anything. I’m the Captain, it wouldn’t be appropriate to have that kind of relationship with a crew member.” 

Her lips curl in disgust, “Says who? That sounds like an excuse not to jump that boy’s bones.” 

I gape at the imagery, ashamed at the excitement in my gut thinking about it. “It… wouldn’t be fair to him.” I explained my thought process about him being too respectful to turn me down and she gave me a look that told me I was crazy.

“I promise you, he wouldn’t agree out of respect.” She looks at him and leans in with a whisper, “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I accidentally walked in on Felix… you know, and he moaned your name as he came. He swore me to secrecy but if it’ll help you make up your mind about asking him out.”

My heart thuds with this new information and my mind reels, imagining him using me to get off. It made heat pool between my legs and I bite my lip, hating how torn I felt. 

I knew I couldn’t do this on my own. I was too scared to do it straight up, already overthinking what I’d say to him. “Okay, so what do I do? I can’t just ask him, I’d be a bundle of nerves.” 

Her face splits into a wicked grin, “I’ve got the perfect plan.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to pump these out as fast as I can but I'm still playing the game!


	3. Chapter 3

After Nyoka explained her plan to me, I was a bit hesitant. Since I’ve been on ice for the past 70 years I haven’t been able to practice my “charm.” It didn’t help that I was pushed into a totally different environment and social system. Granted it’s similar to Earth’s social structure, it was heavily different in the dating field.

Dating wasn’t really a thing nowadays. There weren’t many labels, just actions, and contracts. Marriage was the only solid thing to define a relationship but even then, the marriage contract could expire unless the couple renewed it on time. It was a startling contrast to the customs I grew up with on Earth but it was something I’d have to get used to now that Halcyon was my home. 

A couple of days after our jaunt at the bar, we were headed for Stellar Bay on Monarch to set Nyoka’s plan into action. She wanted me to go on a date with someone to make Felix jealous enough to confess his feelings. I didn’t like the plan at first, afraid it would backfire and he would be respectful and let me date whoever but Nyoka reminded me that Felix doesn’t usually think with his head. 

She suggested Grimm, the guard for the Stellar Bay landing pad. She noted that he’s gullible and easy to convince of things as long as they didn’t interfere with his job. Apparently, he has a weakness for redheads, which works in my favor. 

The last time I came to Monarch was because Phineas told me to look for Nyoka, so when Grimm asked me to grab a poster that was supposed to come in the mail, I didn’t bother to check up on it. I figure I could use the poster as a segue into asking him on a date in front of Felix. 

When we landed on Monarch I asked Felix and Nyoka to come with, letting the rest of the crew have the time off. It was cute how excited Felix got whenever I asked him to join me. 

Grimm was waiting for us as we got off the elevator from the landing pad and he smiled as he recognized us. “Welcome back, Captain Hawthorne, how’s your day?” 

“It just got better.” I give him a sly smile, hoping that he hears the flirtation in my voice. It has the desired effect and he sputters with a response, blushing all the while. 

“T-that’s great to hear. It’s been lonely without you coming and going.” He shoots me with a grin that was surprisingly disarming. 

“You flatter me, Grimm.” It boosted my confidence in how it was so easy to fall back onto my conversational skills. “I’m in a bit of a time crunch but I’ll definitely stop by later.” I touch his shoulder as I pass by, knowing that Felix was watching. 

Nyoka falls in step beside me and sneaks a thumbs up at me before leading me to Velma, the woman in charge of the shipping yard for Stellar Bay. I let her take the lead in the conversation, only perking up hearing about a missing employee. 

“Excuse me, what do you mean by missing?”

“He hasn’t shown up in a few days. If I wasn’t so busy picking up his slack I’d go look for him.” She purses her lips in thought, “Since you don’t seem so constrained on time, could you check up on him? He lives in the apartments. Tell him that Velma says to get his lazy ass down here or she’ll start noticing the extra drugs he’s been taking from the supply.” 

I shake my head in confusion, “He’s stealing and you’re not doing anything about it?”

“Stealing’s a bit of a heavy word. Let’s call it...skimming. And yeah, maybe I’ve noticed the sterobiotics we use for the fish get used a little faster on Braxton’s shift.”

“Okay, and why didn’t you turn him in?”

She sneers, “We’re not the corporate type to fine people for sleeping on the wrong side of the bed. Besides, the Spacer’s Choice stuff we get is cheap and Braxton’s the best at his job.” 

“I’ll think about it, but I came here for Grimm. He’s asking about a poster he ordered a while back.”

Velma rolls her eyes, “Ugh, this again? You can tell him his poster came in, and that I got a better offer for it, so it’s going to Nell down at the bar.” 

I frown at that and step closer, “Didn’t he pay for that poster?” 

“No, I paid SubLight for it, so it’s mine. Once Nell pays for it, it’ll be hers. Grimm may have asked for the poster but it’s not his until I take the money for it.” 

I scoff, “That’s fucked. You should give it to Grimm regardless of a better offer.” Her attitude was indifferent to my frustration and it only made me want to punch her. 

“But you see, I don’t have to. And unless you’re gonna make a better offer, I’m busy.” 

Oh, she’s so lucky my knuckles still hurt from punching a marauder a few days back. “I’d be willing to check up on Braxton if you’ll hand over Grimm’s poster.” I flash a warning smile, meant to intimidate. 

She eyes me up and down, pursing her lips and sighing, “If you manage to bring him back for tomorrow, then I’d be okay with letting you buy the poster at a reduced price.” 

“How reduced?” 

She pauses to think. “20 percent, making it only 560 bits.” 

While I could definitely cover that cost, I wasn’t wanting to go all out for Grimm even though he was getting robbed. “I’ll see what I can do.” Without waiting for her response I turn and briskly leave. As soon as we turn the corner I clench my fists and sigh. “God, she’s such a bitch.” 

Nyoka barks with laughter, “Yep, that’s good ‘ole Velma for you. She’s stony inside and out.” 

“Why are we doing this, Boss?” Felix grumbles behind me. I glance at him to see a deep frown set in his fine features. “I mean, what’s the big deal about this guy’s poster?” 

“Grimm asked me to grab it and I’m finally getting around to it. Why? Have you got a problem with it?” I hid a smirk behind my jacket collar as I watched him get flustered. 

“Course not! I just can’t figure out why you’re doing this for a guy you don’t even know. 560 bits? Are you kidding me?” He was getting defensive and openly glowering at nothing. 

“Do you have something to say, Felix?” I stop walking and give him my full attention, hoping he’d come clean then and there so I wouldn’t have to go on a date with Grimm. 

He opens his mouth but his eyes show an unspoken fear and he shuts his mouth, shaking his head. My heart sinks. So much for that, guess we have to do it Nyoka’s way. 

We make it to Braxton’s apartment in uncomfortable silence. I knock on the door and hear a clatter inside. My hand automatically reaches for my pistol and I knock once more, hearing nothing else.

“Mr. Braxton? My name is Violet Harper, may I steal five minutes of your time?” I wait for a moment, listening for a response when the door opens and someone shoves me, rushing past. I point my pistol at them and shout, “Oy! Stop or I’ll shoot!” Felix and Nyoka had also taken out their guns.

They freeze on the top stair and cautiously look back, jumping at the sight of all our guns pointed at them. The woman raises her hands and turns toward us, “Hey, I’m sorry! You don’t sneak up on someone like that!” 

“Who are you and where’s Braxton?” She must not know much about guns since she keeps eyeing my pistol like it’s not on safety.

“Braxton? Never heard of a Braxton! Got nothing for ya, sorry.” Her words were rushed and her eyes darted around like a trapped animal. She edged closer to the stairs but trembled when I jerked my gun. 

“You’re on drugs.” It wasn’t a question, it was obvious. 

“No! Okay, maybe. Just a little! Braxton always has a good stache. I just wanted to let loose a little. Stop thinking about all the marauders and raptidons, ya know?” 

“So you do know Braxton? Where is he?” 

She squirms, “Oh, damn. He told me he was delivering to this house south of the ruins. Whole family had fallen sick and he had spare meds on hand.” 

I wait a moment before holstering my pistol and smiling, “That’s all I needed, wasn’t so hard.” Nyoka and Felix lowered their guns and the woman heaves in relief, fleeing down the stairs. 

I search the mess of Braxton’s living room, finding little to nothing when Felix points out a notepad and reads it out loud. “Out for deliveries. Dropping a ‘care package’ off with the Mathers in the old ruins south of Stellar Bay. Be back soon. Laura, I know you’re reading this, STAY OUT OF MY STACHE.”

“I’m guessing that woman was Laura and she didn’t listen to Braxton’s note.” Felix hands the notepad to me and we head back to Velma’s to update her on the situation. 

She pinches the bridge of her nose at the news, “Great. This is exactly what I needed; one of my best workers skipping town to sell drugs.” She tossed her clipboard onto the nearby work station and plopped into a chair. 

I decided to take advantage of her sudden shift in mood. “You know, I could track him down for you. If the price is right.” She looks up at me but doesn’t say anything, waiting for me to make an offer. “I think Grimm’s poster would suffice. Unless it’s more important than one of your best employees.” 

I made sure to lay it on thick to entice her into agreeing and it works. She closes her eyes and groans, “Fine, you can have his stupid poster as long as you find Braxton.” I hold my hand out to seal the deal and we shake on it. 

We made a pit stop to the ship to armor up a bit and grab some extra ammo, just in case. I told Ada we’d be out for a while and only let crew members in. 

The walk to the Mather’s manor wasn’t a long one but we ran into some groups of marauders. It unsettled me how many there were along the paths, a sinking feeling in my gut as we got closer to our destination. How could one drugged-out man make it past these thugs? The chances that Braxton was still alive were so low I nearly turned back at the futility of continuing. 

“You know what I think? This Braxton fella threw away the constraints of society and joined a pack of wild raptidons.” Felix attempts to lighten the mood but only accomplished in threading dread in my fingers. They ached to grip my gun but I reassured myself that we’d find Braxton, bring him back safely, get Grimm’s poster, and be completely fine. 

We come up to a residence smushed into a building that I assume is the Mather’s because of the dirty footprints leading to a door lit up in blue whereas all the other doorways were lit red. I knock once and open the door to a small room lined with couches and chairs. A digital piano sat on the left of the doorway, dusty and unused and an odd-looking game was left abandoned on a coffee table. 

I open the next door to a kitchen where a woman stood prepping meat on the counter. A man sat at the head of the table with his back facing me. He turns at the sound of the door and smiled wide, “A visitor? What an unexpected surprise! Please, come in, come in!” 

Nyoka bristles and whisper, “I’m getting real bad fight-or-flight right now. Watch your step. People ain’t this friendly outside city walls.” 

Felix scoffs lightly, “We’re armed to the teeth. What’s he gonna do- kill us with generosity?” 

I ignore their concerns for the moment and step inside carefully, “My name is Violet Harper. I’m looking for a man named Braxton. He supposedly came by here?” 

“Edgar Mather. I’m afraid we don’t get many visitors out here. The raptidons and marauders scare off all but the boldest.” He smiles with too many teeth and I suppress a shiver that runs down my spine. “If you’ve braved them, you must be exhausted. Why don’t you stay for dinner?”

My fingers itch for the solid comfort of my pistol but I fold my hands in front of me to appear calm. “Are you sure you haven’t seen Braxton? He left a note saying he was delivering medicine to the Mather’s residence.”

He chuckles, “I think I would remember something like that. Now settle in, dinner’s almost ready.” He turns away and resumes reading a book.

I subtly whisper to Nyoka and Felix, “Something doesn’t feel right. Stay on guard and don’t arouse any suspicion. I’m gonna check out the place.” 

I sit at the table next to a man wearing a red cap and suspenders. “Hello, my name’s Violet. What’s your name?” 

He blinks at me as if just noticing my presence, “Uh, Levi. Yeah. Have you come for… for… dinner?” 

“Actually, I came looking for a man named Braxton.” 

He scratches his arm, “Sorry, I’m not real… good with, uh… names.”

His broken sentences catch my attention, but not more than the tiny red welts running up and down his arms and the heavy tremble in his hands. “Is something wrong, Levi?” 

He shakes his head and blinks to focus, “It just gets hard to remember things. I recall moments… feelings… but the details slip. Other times, it’s like there’s fog, I...sorry have we talked about this before?”

“Is there something I can help you with?” 

He smiles but it looks hollow, “That’s nice of you but I usually feel fine after I eat. Mama said dinner’s almost ready, huh?”

I nod and stand, unease settling along my spine and it suddenly feels too hot in here.

“Pardon, do you have a loo I could use? I had some bad saltuna earlier.”

Edgar smiles and looks me over, “Of course, it’s upstairs.” He watches me until I can’t see him anymore. A door stood directly adjacent to the top of the stairs but it was lit red. Locked. 

I peek around the corner and see a woman leaning against the wall picking at her nails. I step closer to get a better look and notice red covering her fingers. She was peeling her cuticles to the point that they bled. I shiver to imagine the pain of it and clear my throat, startling her.

“Sorry, I was looking for the loo. My name is Violet.” 

Her hands shake as she avoids my gaze, a deep blush running up her neck. Instead of answering me she edges around me into a room and closes the door. Weird, but not the weirdest thing in this house. I continue up more steps, surprised by the size of this place. At the top on the left is the loo, but there’s also a closed-door right in front of it. 

I look down the stairs to make sure I wasn’t being followed and I enter the room. It looked about as ordinary as any other room except for a large jagged hole in the wall opposite the bed. The door to the room was locked so I peek through the hole and frown at the sight of dried and fresh blood on the walls and floor. A fridge blocks most of the room off so I look at the lock, confident I can pick it. It doesn’t take long before it slides open and I groan. 

A man lay on the bed with a long blade sticking out of his stomach. What in the bloody hell did I get myself into? I cautiously step inside to get a better view of the man, dread and anxiety yelling the obvious answer at me. 

The corpse had no head, arms, and only one leg. A white card stuck out of pocket and I gingerly grab it, flipping it over to read it. 

Name: Hecht, Braxton  
Supervisor: Ballard, Velma  
Position: Chief Pescatological Health Manager, MSI

Bollocks. Of course, it would be Braxton. Of course, the Mather’s are cannibals. As I pass the bathroom on my way down I hear Nyoka cursing at Edgar and I hurry downstairs. 

“This asshole locked the door!” Nyoka grips her gun as she stares Edgar down. 

He gives me a look as if pleading for me to understand, “It’s just sticking! There’s a trick to jimmying it open. I’ll see to it after we’ve finished dinner.” 

Knowing what was upstairs, I didn’t want to give them a reason to attack before I could come up with a plan so I had to deescalate the situation. “Okay. After dinner. Stand down, Nyoka.” I hope my face portrays my message well enough as she drops her hand from her waist. 

“I do appreciate your patience. I’d hate to serve our company with anything but the best, though.” 

  
A laugh bubbles from Levi and he scratches furiously at his arm, breaking the skin and smearing blood. I pretend to ignore it as I pull Nyoka over. 

“I found Braxton. We need to get out of here.” I smile as if telling a joke and nudge her to do the same. 

Her face pulls into a tight-lipped smile as she surveys the room. “Did you see any other exits? The front doors locked.” 

I nod, “Right up the stairs but if we all go up there, they’ll be suspicious. Either way, it looks like we might have to fight our way out.” 

“You know,” Edgar raises his voice, drowning out Nyoka’s response, “It’s incredibly rude to whisper in front of your hosts.” His eye twitches as he glares at me. He knows. Or at the very least, he thinks, which makes him dangerous with desperation. 

“I apologize, we were talking about the latest tossball game.” I give him a relaxed smile.

“What, without me?” Felix frowns at me with his hands out, asking why. This one time, I’m glad for Felix’s poor situation reading skills. 

“Oh, dear. You’ve been nosy, haven’t you?” Edgar eyes the floor and I wince as I notice my bloody footprints. I was in such a hurry I didn’t think about the blood I stepped in.

“Okay, I admit that I snooped around. I saw what you did to Braxton. This doesn’t have to end badly.” I kept my posture open but made sure I had easy access to my gun. 

He smiles and puts his palms together, “Of course not! What better end for the day than a meal around the family table? And what more noble purpose for you than to bring us together?” 

“I just came out of decades of hibernation. That can’t make for good eating.” I attempt a joke to even out the air in here. 

“Eating?” Felix gapes at the Mather’s and me, barely connecting the dots. 

“Nonsense. What the Eternal provides, we shall gladly accept.” The matriarch sneers, grabbing the kitchen knife. 

Edgar laughs, “Well we can’t argue with that logic.” His wife lunges for me as I’m the closest but Nyoka shoots her square in the chest, giving me time to yank out my pistol and fire off shots at Edgar. He pulls a gun from his waistband but I shoot him in the shoulder, causing him to drop it with a shout. Felix fumbles with a bottle from the table, swinging in into the daughter’s face, causing her to cry out and double over clutching her face. 

Nyoka puts a round in Edgar’s head and I finish off the daughter with a bullet to her heart. I barely stop Felix in time as he aims his rifle at Levi, who was cowering on the floor, shaking. “Stop! Don’t shoot him!”

I sit next to him, heart racing and breathing hard. He was crying. Sobbing, really. I hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder but he jumps and pushes himself further into the wall with a strangled cry. 

“Levi, I’m sorry it had to come to this. I’m sorry about what’s happened to you.” I slowly rub his back as his hiccuping grows slower and his breathing evens out. He peeks at me through his arms. 

“W-w-what’s wrong with m-me?” He grips his arms to steady his stuttering.

“Your parents were… feeding you human flesh. We aren’t built to live off of it, that’s why you can’t remember things very well. That’s why you’re constantly shaking and itching.” His trembling gets worse as I explain. “You’ve been eating it for so long your body grew an immunity to it, which is why you feel better when you eat. In a way, it’s like a drug. I’m afraid it’s too late to reverse what’s been done. Levi… you’re going to die.” 

He whimpers softly and he throws himself into my arms, crying again. Feeling his shaking sobs pierced my heart and I hold him as I bring my pistol to his temple slowly. My hand shakes as I build up the courage to press the trigger. Levi’s fingers tighten around my waist as if he knows what’s coming and he’s trying to stay calm. 

His body jerks at the loud bang from my gun and he slumps against me. I drop my gun and push him away, ignoring the incessant ringing in my head. I stand on shaky legs but I felt numb. I yank the key from Edgar’s shirt and stumble outside, immediately collapsing and dry heaving. My eyes burn with unshed tears as I empty my stomach. 

I flinch as Felix pulls my hair back and rubs my shoulders. I sit there for a minute or two trying to steady my hands and clear my head enough to get up. I notice a shovel leaning against the banister of the porch and grab it, facing Nyoka and Felix. 

“You two can head back to Stellar Bay and talk to Velma. I’m gonna clean up here.” I square my shoulders hoping to reassert my authority but I knew they saw right past it. There’s no way they’ll forget how I lost my composure for putting a boy out of his misery. 

Felix frowns, “I’m not leaving you by yourself, Violet. Not after what just happened.” My heart thumped painfully hearing him address me by my name instead of ‘boss.’ 

Nyoka nods, “I’m with Felix. I don’t think you should be left alone right now. We’ll help you clean up.” She jogs away behind me and comes back with two more shovels, handing one to Felix. 

My chest swells with affection at their solidarity and I smile, bringing them into a hug to hide my teary eyes. I didn’t need to thank them. They already knew. “Let’s get started. I don’t want to be out past dark.” 


	4. Chapter 4

We buried the Mather’s and Braxton in the backyard. Felix wasn’t too keen on burying Edgar and his wife but I told him that they deserved to rest despite killing and eating people. 

By the time we trudged back to Stellar Bay, we were cold, hungry, and cranky. Not to mention filthy. We got many looks as we made out way to the shipping bay, hoping Velma was still there making up for the lost time. 

I shove Braxton’s ID card at her and she startles as she takes in my bloody and dirt-stained tank top. She reads the card and looks at me with worry, making her own assumptions based on my appearance. 

“He was killed by cannibals out in the ruins.” I was much too tired to care about pleasantries. 

Shock makes its way onto her face, “That’s… wow. I sure feel like an ass now.” 

A derisive snort comes from me before I can stop it, “You sure sounded like one.” 

The shock is replaced with a scowl, “Ease up! I’m running on a chronic shortage of sleep here!”

I hold out my hand, “I did what was agreed, now give me the damned poster.”

“Actually, no you didn’t. I asked you to bring Braxton back to work but you came back with his ID card. I don’t have to follow through with my end since you didn’t uphold yours.” She crosses her arms smugly and I very nearly punched it off of her face. 

Instead, I grip her shirt collar and push her against the wall with force, “You have no bloody clue what I went through to find him. You’re going to give me that poster, free of charge, or you’ll end up like those cannibals.” I didn’t intend to follow through with my threat but her will was weak enough that she squeaks out an apology and points to a shelf a few feet away. 

I roughly shove her away and snatch the poster from the shelf and leave. I wrap my jacket around me to cover the worst of the blood and dirt as we head back to the ship. 

“Do you think that maybe you were a little rough with her?” Nyoka asks quietly. 

I turn a glare on her and she shuts right up. 

I see Grimm standing watch at the elevator and sigh, knowing what I have to do now. I jog ahead of Felix and Nyoka to speak with Grimm. 

I bat him on the arm with the poster and smile as he turns, “Finally got it. It’s all yours.” Thankfully the dark obscured most of the stains on me. 

“Oh, wow!” He unrolls the poster to look at it with a gleam in his eye. “This is great, Violet, thank you!” He envelops me in a hug but quickly pulls away with a wrinkled nose. 

“Shit, sorry. It’s been a rough day.” I cringe as I feel the dirt in my socks and between my toes. 

“Looks to be.” He rubs his neck and smiles awkwardly, “Would you care to get some drinks with me? You seem to need it right about now.” 

I sigh in relief. I didn’t have to bring it up. I nod, “That’d be great. It’s a date.” His smile grows larger and he taps his foot in excitement. “Let me just go wash up and I’ll be down shortly.” 

As I step onto the platform Nyoka grabs my arm and shakes me with excitement, “Oh Law, Violet, you did it! You just scored yourself a date! Don’t you think they make an adorable couple, Felix?”

I glance at him in the corner of my eye. His arms are crossed and the corners of his mouth sag, “Yeah, if you like buffoons.” 

I raise my eyebrows at that, holding back a laugh, “Buffoon? What, you don’t like Grimm?” 

“Well, you- I… I don’t not like him.” I couldn’t hold back my laugh this time. 

The airlock closes behind us and Felix follows me upstairs. I turn to him as I stop outside of the Captain’s quarters, “I’m a lonely woman, Felix. Besides Grimm, who else am I supposed to date?” I give him a purposeful look, “Do you have any suggestions, perhaps?” 

He looks me in the eye with a sudden determination that startles me, “Actually, yes. I do.” For a brief second, I think he’s going to kiss me but he abruptly turns and marches upstairs. I’m left speechless in my doorway. 

Nyoka stands at the bottom of the stairs and whistles, “That boy has something up his sleeve. Want me to find out?” She looked excited and I nod, thanking her. 

While I shower I can hear Nyoka telling the crew what went down at the Mather’s residence and I scrub at the dried blood harder. I really didn’t want to go on this date with Grimm but I could really use some booze right now. For the first time in weeks, I pamper myself and shave, loving how smooth my skin felt after ridding myself of dead skin cells. As I finish up washing my hair I realize I’d been in such a hurry to get in that I forgot to grab my clothes. 

“Bloody hell,” I murmur to myself, thinking about what I should do. I could simply walk through the kitchen to get to my room but that wouldn’t do very well for my image, even though it’s just my crew. I could sneak down the ladder and hope Parvati isn’t in the engine room and take the long route. It’d be kind of difficult to climb down a ladder without dropping my towel. 

I poke my head out to see who’s in the kitchen and sigh when I don’t see anyone at the table, at least as far as I can tell. Music wafts up from the ladder and I know Parvati is down there tinkering away. 

I grab my shower stuff and tiptoe around the corner and make a mad dash past the table. A door opens and I stumble in surprise. It’s Felix, of course. He comes out with a frown, pausing when he sees me. 

A bright blush builds in his face as he notices that I’m only wearing a towel. He hastily averts his gaze and stammers, “Uh, s-sorry, Boss. Didn’t know you’d be there.” 

My face burns as I mumble an apology and escape down the stairs, cursing myself for not being quick enough. I let my door close with a hiss and I groan. Oh god. I look down at myself in shame, extremely aware of how short this towel is. Why didn’t I just ask Ada to call for Parvati or Nyoka? Why am I so dumb? 

I tangle my fingers in my hair and try to distract myself with clothes. I realized too late that I don’t own formal wear anymore. The fanciest thing I own is my captain’s uniform which carries an air of authority. 

I shrug and decide to wear it. It’s not like this date is super formal anyway. Grimm will probably show up in his work attire, so this should be fine. 

Once I dress I pin my hair up in a half updo, letting my curls dry as I pull on my boots and check my face in my mirror. I love this jacket because the green accents my hazel eyes and brings out the green shades. Satisfied with my appearance, I head upstairs to talk to Nyoka, making sure to avoid Felix in the kitchen. I slide into her room and close the door behind me, holding my arms out for her to see. 

“I think I’m ready. Did you figure out what Felix is doing?” I’m about to sit at her desk when she yanks me by the elbow and spins me with a disapproving look.

“No no no, this isn’t good enough. If you want to make Felix jealous you need to look sexy, not intimidating.” At my face, she waves her hands in reassurance, “Don’t get me wrong, I love this jacket, but it’s not good enough for your first date in what, 70 years?” 

I look away in embarrassment, knowing I hadn’t gone on a date since I was 23. I may have had a hookup or two but it never required being clothed properly. “This is the most proper thing I own! I can’t show up naked so this is my second best option.” 

Nyoka tuts and moves past me, closing the door as she leaves. I groan and rest my head on her desk, willing away an oncoming headache. I hear cupboards being slammed from the kitchen and mumbled conversation across the hall. Nyoka finally opens the door after a minute or two and shoves clothes into my arms. 

“Try these, Ellie’s lending them to you. You’re about the same size as her so it should fit.” She gives me a grin and shuts the door to give me privacy. This is all turning out to be more work than I’d anticipated. 

I lay the clothes on the chair, appreciating the fabric. I shuck off my trousers and struggle to pull the leather over my bum, breathing heavily afterward. The next thing Ellie gave me is… a crop top? I never thought crop tops would make it to space but I guess I was wrong. It was an eggshell white with sheer mauve lace covering the shoulders and bloody hell, I loved it. The inner layer was silky and slid right on and I grin. 

God, I missed feeling giddy about new clothes. I’ll have to stop by Jolicoeur’s next time we dock in Byzantium. 

The last item from Ellie is a cropped leather jacket, which matched the rest of the ensemble perfectly. I look myself over and can’t resist feeling my curves, which were accented by the leather pants. The only thing I was apprehensive about was the leather because boiling alive wasn’t high on my to-do list. Nonetheless, I open the door and pull Nyoka in, eager for her approval. 

Her eyes widen as she looks me over, nodding to herself with a smirk, “Damn Violet, where’ve you been hiding that body?” 

Ellie wanders in after Nyoka presumably told her what was going on and whistles, “I hate to say it, but I think you wear that better than me.”

I do a slow circle and give them a thumbs up, “Am I good to go?” They both nod and excitement bubbles up within me. 

It simmers down when I remember why I’m doing all of this. Grimm. I still have to go out with him. My nerves suddenly skyrocket and I look around for vodka, grabbing some from Nyoka’s nightstand and weaving through them to the kitchen. 

I fill myself a cup and down it, coughing. 

“As much as I love pregaming, you can’t handle your alcohol, Violet.” Nyoka takes the bottle from me, but not before I pour another shot and quickly down it. 

“I don’t want to do this anymore, Ellie you go.” I try to pull the leather jacket off but Nyoka slaps my hands away and straightens the lapels, smoothing it down. 

“You’re so dramatic, just chill. You’re going for drinks, you’re not signing a marriage contract.”

Ellie leans against the counter with raised eyebrows, “I’ve never seen you so nervous, Captain. You must really like this boy.” 

I blush and glare at Nyoka, “You told her about Felix?” 

She presses her lips together as Ellie gasps. “_Felix_?” 

Nyoka grimaces, “I didn’t say anything about Felix…” Ellie crowds me with questions, repeatedly saying that she knew it and that Max owed her 20 bits. 

“NYOKA!” A half groan and half whine reaches us from the hall as Felix comes into the kitchen, “Did you drink my Spectrum Reds?” 

Ellie doesn’t notice Felix and I hastily cover her mouth so she doesn’t blab my feelings to him. Nyoka scratches her chin, “Oh, that was yours? I thought they came out with a new ‘Felix’ line.” 

Apparently not noticing me in his hurry, he sighs and grips his hair, turning to leave, “Dammit, Nyoka! I was saving that for something special!” 

“Felix, wait!” Nyoka pulls me forward and waves a hand in front of me as if presenting me to an audience. “How do you like her outfit?” 

Felix glances back looking annoyed but blinks in surprise as he notices me. Heat travels to my core as he thoroughly looks me over with a flushed face. He licks his lips as he stammers for a response but nothing coherent comes out. After a moment of bumbling, he shakes his head and forces a smile, “It looks great.” His answer was clipped and strained as he makes for his room. 

I gasp as I realize I was holding my breath and my confidence deflates. Was Nyoka wrong? Does he really not like me? Why did he answer so coldly when he seemed so interested? 

I plop into a dining chair and cover my face, groaning, “God, I’m so incredibly gormless!” 

Nyoka pats my shoulder, “I don’t know what that means but no you’re not. Look, we can worry about making him jealous some other time. You need alcohol in your system, now. So get going.” She drags me up out of the chair and nudges me out of the kitchen. 

I put my combat boots on and slowly head to the airlock, telling Ada I’d be back soon, trying not to think about Felix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all. The Outer Worlds has been nominated for Best Game of the Year!!! I'm so feckin' happy for Obsidian and Private Division, they worked so hard on this game, it deserves all of the love :)))


	5. Chapter 5

My stomach was doing flip flops as I approached Grimm, but it was for all the wrong reasons. I suddenly felt awful going on a date with him to get to Felix, realizing just how deceitful this was.

As soon as Grimm smiles at me my chest tightens with guilt. 

“Wow, you look great!” He politely checks me out and returns my gaze with a dopey grin which I try to return. 

“Thank you. Are you ready to go?” I cross my arms over my chest hoping it would help me relax. 

“Oh, yeah! I set up a little area up on the balcony of the Yacht Club. I’ve noticed how a lot of people stare at you and thought you’d like some privacy after the day you’ve had.” 

I bite my lip in frustration. I loved how thoughtful it was but I was irrationally upset that it wasn’t Felix doing this with me. Okay, enough about Felix. If he isn’t going to be open about whatever he’s feeling I don’t need to stress over it and let it ruin my evening, especially after the trouble Grimm went through to set this up. 

“That’s really sweet, Grimm. Let’s go.” I link our elbows and we walk to the bar. The sky was starting to change and I sigh, enjoying the settling temperatures. 

“What kind of drink do you like?” Grimm pauses at the porch. 

“Oh, uh, I like anything Purpleberry. I could also do with some Spectrum Vodka if they have any.” I hand him a bunch of bits despite his protests and beeline it upstairs with my head down. 

Thankfully nobody else was up on the balcony tonight so I didn’t have to worry about keeping up pretenses. At least, not as much as usual since I wasn’t being completely honest with Grimm. Guilt tugs at my heart again and my nerve plummets. Why am I even doing this? I’m supposed to be saving Halcyon, not worrying about boys and dates. For someone selected to be the savior of the future I sure am a mess. 

I smack my face a bit to focus on the present; I’m not useful if I’m having an existential crisis. I sit in the corner with the lift to the Unreliable on my right. I could feel Nyoka’s vodka settling in my belly, giving me a warm buzz, but it wasn’t enough. Just for tonight, I didn’t want to feel anything. I want to be numb and let myself have some fun for once. The last time I let loose was when we stopped by Byzantium and gorged on their fancy foods all night. 

I smile fondly, remembering how Felix and I stayed up late and talked about the differences between Halcyon and Earth. He told me about his life on the Groundbreaker and he expressed his gratitude by buying me a bag of purpleberry bunch candies. He laughed at my face when I first tasted the sour soft shell of it and from then on I loved anything purpleberry. 

The door opens and I jerk in surprise, turning a smile on Grimm. Guilt creeps back in and I sigh, hoping it doesn’t stick around all night. 

He sets a bag down on the table and sets it up with napkins and cups, then pulling out the booze and arranging them neatly. He got Plain ‘n Pure Water, Spectrum Vodka, Purpleberry Wine, and Iceberg Aged Whiskey. But he doesn’t stop there. From the bag, Grimm pulls out a few space bananas, Purpleberry Munch, Bred Noodles, and a wrapped package.

“You remember Sebastian? The fella you set up with Mr. Sanjar’s assistant?” At my nod, he grows nervous, “I asked him to get something special for tonight and he got some Raptidon filets. Cooked ‘em up and everything.” He unwraps the package and sure enough, there’s grilled meat inside. 

He grabs plates and silverware from somewhere and places a pair in front of me, setting up my plate with food. 

“Wow, you really went all out, huh?” It touched me that he was so considerate and generous and I was determined to try my best with him. 

A light blush sprouts on his cheeks as he pours me some wine, “Yeah, well, it’s not every day a legitimate space captain agrees to go on a date with me. Figured I should make the most of this rare occasion.” 

I take a sip of wine and smile, “Then let’s get started.”

  
By the time we finished our food, I’d downed a cup of whiskey and vodka, immediately regretting the decision because of the intense burning in the back of my throat. I could feel my limbs getting heavier and my actions were much sloppier than usual. My vision tunneled the more I drank but I was feeling bubbly and happy again so I didn’t mind the awful taste of the whiskey. 

“Oh god, one time we were wandering around outside the walls trying to find a place to rest for a bit and Parvati said she heard something, so we went to check it out and we found a group of marauders having an orgy!” I was laughing at the memory of seeing a bunch of men ramming women into the ground. The thing Parvati heard was their wanton moaning. We’d been horrified at first but when we got back to our stuff we were laughing so hard our stomachs cramped. 

Grimm chuckles as he looks at me with a gleam in his eyes. In my drunken stupor, I barely notice his wandering gaze but my breath catches when he touches my arm and I’m suddenly too hot. At might slight reaction he retracts his hand with a bashful smile. 

His lips looked familiar in the dark rose sky and my belly heats up with want. I bite my lip and slip my jacket over my shoulders and down my arms. I lower my lashes at him to get my point across and it seems to work as he starts to lean in. I close my eyes and reach across to meet him, slightly expecting some kind of shock or revelation after the kiss but nothing really happens. 

His hand reaches up to pull my chin in for another kiss but I don’t want one. My reflexes don’t kick in until he tries to open my lips with his tongue and I smack his hand away, pulling back and wiping my lips. 

“I can’t.” I put my jacket on and grab my wine, slipping out the door before Grimm can stop me and scurry downstairs. I stumble on a step or two, nearly breaking my ankle, but make it outside. I pause to catch my breath and curse. 

Why did I leave like that? Why didn’t I just explain how I felt instead of running off? God, I don’t even know how I feel right now besides sick. If I go back to the ship Grimm will see me from the balcony if he hadn’t followed me so the question is, am I brave enough to chance it? 

I hop over the side of the patio railing and nearly trip. I walk around the bar until I can’t see the balcony anymore and then take the back way to Nell’s bar, tipping my head back to drink more wine. 

People looked at me with curiosity but I ignored them despite wanting to shove my bottle up their arse. How am I gonna get back to my ship? Grimm is either looking for me, standing watch at the lift, or still at the bar, which I have to pass to get to my ship. Damn me and my cowardice when it comes to romance. I felt completely awful for allowing that kiss to happen, and even worse knowing I was thinking of someone else the entire time. It felt like it all happened so quickly and it escalated before I really knew what was happening. 

I grimace thinking about how I would explain this to Nyoka. She’s bound to give up on me now that I’ve dashed our plan away with my wimpy alcohol tolerance. At the very least, the kiss and dash sobered me up a bit. 

I walk into Nell’s bar and plop into a seat until she notices me and smiles, “Hey, it’s my savior and favorite space captain!” She slides a purpleberry juice across the counter for me and I sip at it with relief.

“Yep, it’s me.” I try to flash her my dashing smile but I could feel the resistance in my cheeks due to the alcohol. 

She frowns, “You’re drunk.” 

I laugh. Understatement of the century. “Completely wankered.” Even my accent was drunk, bloody hell. I felt slightly embarrassed now, coming in already smelling of booze with no valid reason. 

“What’s up, where’s your crew?” She glances at the door warily as if expecting my crew to swagger in as drunk as I am. 

“They’re at the ship. I went on a date, can you believe it! I mean, it ended awfully and I may never be able to face him again but you know.” At this point, I settle my face against the cold table. 

“That sounds rough. How badly did you have it for him?” She asks and I cringe.

I sit up and blow a curl out of my face, “That’s the thing. I have it bad for someone else. I don’t like that guy at all, I mean he’s super nice and thoughtful but I was thinking of _him_ most of the time. I’m going crazy, Nell.” 

She purses her lips and I can see her gears turning as she tries to figure out who I’m talking about. I wasn’t worried about her finding out about my crush on Felix because I was confident that I was vague enough.

Her eyes widen and she smiles, “_No_! You like Felix?”

I sputter and shake my head, “No! Why would you think that?” 

She claps her hands with a cheeky smile, “You don’t pay attention to yourself when he’s around. Felix was talking about one of his serials and your eyes were practically sparkling as you watched him talk.” 

I cover my hot face and grip my hair. Did everyone know about my infatuation with Felix? Am I really that obvious? My chest ached as I wondered if he knew but hasn’t said anything because he really doesn’t feel the same way. 

“You should talk to him. I think you two look cute together.” She pushes a shot towards me. “Liquid courage, drink.”

I shake my head miserably, “I really don’t think I need anymore. Besides, I can’t get back to my ship right now.” 

“Why not?”

“...I went on a date with Grimm tonight.” 

Her mouth forms an ‘o’ as she catches up. We’re silent for a moment with a tossball game playing in the background. She snaps her fingers and I sit taller in surprise, “There’s an alley behind the elevator. If you get there you won’t have to pass Grimm.” 

I perk up at this, trying to visualize what to do. “But if he’s standing watch he’ll hear the lift go up.”

“I’ll go with you. Come on, we’ll wing it.” Nell rounds the counter, telling a man to watch the bar and grabs my wrist to drag me out the door. The cool night air slaps me and my head clears enough to save myself from falling down the stairs. 

Nell leads me down the street to a barricade, which she leaps over with ease. My legs weren’t feeling this work but I will myself to clamber over with Nell’s help. It was a small alcove of houses that looked abandoned and just around a bend was, in fact, the lift up to the Unreliable. 

“Alright, I think it’d be safer to climb the rail instead of walking up the steps in your boots.” 

I frown, “But I’m piss drunk, is it safe to be climbing things?”

She waves her hand, “You’ll be fine, you’re you. Now go! I don’t want to leave that idiot in charge of my bar for long.” 

I shrug and peek around a box to see Grimm facing the other way, probably waiting for me to slink back to the lift. It was perfect, I was able to climb a few crates stacked beside the lift and carefully lifted myself over the rungs and railings of the lift. I quietly pressed myself into the corner, gasping at the cold metal on my exposed midriff. 

Nell tiptoes up the steps and I gape at her for making me climb and exert myself for apparently no reason. She gives me a thumbs up and smacks the button for it to go up. It jolts and my head bounces, thudding softly and I grimace. 

“Hey, wait! Nell?” I heard Grimm running up to the lift and I hold my breath, wondering if there was a button to call the lift back down. “What are you doing? How did you get passed me?”

“Oh, you were super in your head, I just walked right by you. I’m gonna have a word with Felix, it won’t take long.” Nell rests a hand on her hip casually as the lift jolts to a stop, causing my head to bump again. 

“Dang, okay. If you see Violet can you tell her I’m sorry?” I barely heard Grimm’s voice as I started shuffling off the lift but my heart fills with guilt again at his words. 

“Yeah, sure.” Nell walks past me and waits for me.

Ignoring the hard pebbles scratching my belly, I crawl off the lift and stand, brushing myself off thoroughly. “Thanks, Nell. I owe you one.” I hold out my hand for her to shake, which she grips with a nod. 

“Maybe you could put in a good word with Nyoka for me?” She rubs her neck with pink cheeks, “I’ve been trying to get her attention for years but she’s so much cooler than I am, it’s intimidating.” 

I raise my eyebrows, “Wow, of course. Yeah, I can do that.” She smiles in thanks and I turn to my ship. I square my shoulders and walk up the ramp, determined and unwilling to dwell on the many outcomes this could have.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a short chapter from Felix's POV. Hope you enjoy :)

I was anxious after seeing Violet in a towel, hair wet, skin damp and glowy. I thought my heart would explode out of my chest seeing her so uncovered and vulnerable, I barely had the willpower to look away in respect. 

All I had planned for that evening was bothering Max and catching up on a serial, but after seeing how she was cleaning up for another man, I put all of my energy into gathering stuff for a date. I wasn’t sure what kind of things you need for an actual date so I was panicking a bit. I remembered I had Spectrum Red in the kitchen and hurried to grab it. 

I opened all of the cupboards and moved everything but I didn’t see it anywhere. Maybe it’s still in my room? I went back to my room, lifted anything, looked behind everything, and completely remade my bed trying to find it. I groan in frustration, plopping on my bed and roughly rubbing my face. 

I rack my brain thinking of where I could have put an entire bottle of Spectrum and it hits me as hard as a tossball stick swung by a Fraser brother. Where do most bottles of alcohol disappear to on this ship? I stand and march down the hall to where I hear Nyoka’s voice. 

“NYOKA!” I see her bright pink hair and glare at her as she turns around. “Did you drink my Spectrum Reds?” Ellie was crowded at her side but I was laser-focused on getting the truth. 

She scratches her chin innocently, “Oh, that was yours? I thought they came out with a new ‘Felix’ line.” 

My face scrunches up with the effort to not yell at her as I grip my roots. I need to get more. I turn to leave, “Dammit, Nyoka! I was saving that for something special!” 

“Felix, wait!” Nyoka shouts. “How do you like her outfit?” I almost ignore her but I glance back and blink as my throat goes dry and my heart thuds. 

Violet stood between Ellie and Nyoka wearing tight leather pants, a light purple lacey looking shirt, and a leather jacket to match. I could feel myself blanch as all of my blood rushes south, leaving me dizzy. I blink a few more times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things and lick my lips to jumpstart my brain. 

I open my mouth to compliment her or to beg her to punch me, but nothing comes out and I feel like an idiot. I suddenly realize why she’s dressed like this and my gut plummets. What if she really does like Grimm? What if she doesn’t like me at all? 

Violet’s staring at me with a red face and I shake my head, forcing a smile. “It looks great.” Thankfully my voice doesn’t betray how weak I felt and I escape to my room before collapsing in my chair. 

Maybe this is for the best. Maybe I don’t deserve Violet. She’s so much more important than I am, that dynamic would be unfair, it’d be wrong to chain someone like her down to someone like me. I mean, she could do so much better than _Grimm_, but she’s too good for even me, which definitely hurt to realize. 

Blood rushes from my head as I think back to how she looked and I have to bite my cheek to stop imagining peeling those layers off. 

My door opens and I jump, feeling guilty for thinking such things with Violet right down the hall. Nyoka stands in my doorway with her hands on her hips, looking at me sternly. 

“What the hell was that, Felix? ‘It looks great.’” She mocks in a deep voice. “That was your chance to stop her from going to Grimm and you missed it! You’ve just served her up on a leather platter all for Grimm! A sensible man isn’t gonna pass that up.” 

I groan and smack my head on my table, “I know, I fucked up! But maybe this is for the best.” 

Nyoka closes the door and slaps me upside the head. I flinch away and rub the spot as she huffs in frustration, “You two are the blindest people I know, how do you even manage to survive being so thick?” 

I blink at her in confusion, “What are you talking about, Nyoka?”

She stops and stares at me in disbelief. She presses her fingers against her temples, “She wouldn’t have gone if you stopped her. If you just told her that you like her, she wouldn’t be on a date with Grimm right now.” 

I gulp, hoping she was telling the truth but hesitant to believe it. “How do you know that?” 

“I’m a girl, I know these things.” 

That makes sense. “So what do I do?” 

“Tell her you like her. What else are you supposed to do?” 

I stand and nod, my chest rising with hope as I grab my fanciest vest jacket and clean clothes, rushing to the bathroom to clean up. Nyoka was trying to talk to me but I ignored her by locking the bathroom door and turning on the shower. I scrubbed with a renewed energy, excited to save Violet from Grimm. My heart leaped in my chest as I wondered what her reaction would be. What if… what if she kisses me? I bite my lip imagining her warmth as I hold her in my arms. 

My hand trails south by itself but I jerk away from it, pushing all of those thoughts away for now. I had to save her before thinking about rewards. 

I pull on my clothes with some trouble due to still being drenched, and I roughly shake the towel on my head to dry my hair faster. Besides checking my face in the mirror, I don’t do anything else to my appearance, hoping to get to the bar before Grimm tries anything. 

I throw my stuff in my room and skip a few stairs on my way down, only to be stopped by Nyoka at the airlock. 

“Try not to rush her, Felix. She’s been on ice for 70 years and she’s still getting used to Halcyon.” 

I stop for a moment, forgetting that she’s not actually from here. My excitement dwindles. How many men sought after her on Earth? Law, it must be a lot. My nerves caught up with me and I start second-guessing myself. How could I compare to anyone from Earth? 

Nyoka snaps her fingers, distracting me from my thoughts. “Don’t overthink it, just be you.” She claps a hand on my shoulder roughly and pushes me toward the airlock. 

I all but stumble down the ramp. I take a deep breath and huff as I wait for the elevator to come back up. I step on cautiously, not trusting the hunk of metal. I clench my hands and shake them out hoping to get rid of my nerves. It works a little bit but the sudden jolt of the elevator stopping brought it back as I brace myself. Law, I hate elevators. 

Grimm wasn’t standing there looking like an idiot and I quicken my step so I can interrupt their date before he tries anything with her. As I come up to The Yacht Club, I notice people on the balcony. I have to squint a bit to see because of the shadows up there but I quickly recognize Violet’s signature red hair and pause in confusion. A few different thoughts pop up as I stop to watch. Why isn’t she wearing her jacket, isn’t she cold? Why does Grimm have his hand on her arm? And what’s up with her face? She seems… happy?

Just as I’m about to call out to her, she leans forward and kisses him. Watching her kiss him felt like a punch to the gut and my breath leaves me in one gush. I lurch backward and press my back against one of the shipping containers until I can’t see them anymore. My heart thuds in my ears as I try to calm myself enough to leave. 

I grip my vest over my heart, internally pleading for it to stop hammering so hard. My nose tingled from my suddenly leaky eyes but I roughly wipe them away and make a run for the elevator. 

I hardly noticed that my feet took me straight to my bed until my face hit my pillow and I pull my blanket over myself, just wanting to get the image of Violet out of my head. My brain seemed persistent in remembering the way her dimples form when she laughs and the twinkle of excitement in her eyes when we’re off on an adventure. 

I groan and flop on my back, smacking my face to focus on something else for a moment. Thankfully, a distraction with pink hair comes barging into my room.

Nyoka’s brow is creased as she shuts the door and brings the chair closer to sit.

“I really don’t want to talk right now.” I turn to face the wall. 

“What happened, Felix? You were barely gone five minutes, did you find her?” Always persistent and curious, she asks anyway and I groan, knowing she won’t leave me alone unless I tell her. 

“...Violet kissed Grimm. I didn’t even get the chance to talk to her.” Saying it out loud finally broke the dam behind my eyes and my tears fall as despair fills my chest. 

Nyoka’s silent for a long moment and I have to resist the urge to check if she’s even there. 

Finally, she stammers a response, “I-I don’t understand, did Grimm kiss _her_?” 

I press my face into my pillow to dry the tears before mumbling, “No. She did.” 

“Damn, I’m so confused.” Nyoka’s steps fill the empty space as she paces. “Are you sure? Maybe it wasn’t them, maybe you mistook-” 

“No, it was Violet!” I sit up and pin her with a hard stare, “You were wrong, she doesn’t like me, Nyoka. But I don’t care. In fact, I’m glad she kissed him! Saved me from making a fool of myself.” 

She opened her mouth and closed it with effort. She nods curtly, “Then I’ll leave you be. If you need to talk, we’re all here for you, Felix.” And with that, she leaves. 

I couldn’t get her expression out of my head. Her eyes poured pity and I hated it. It confirmed my fear of not being good enough for Violet and it hurt. All my life I’ve been waiting for my ship to take me away from the Groundbreaker and as soon as it finally happens, I have to fall for the Captain. Law, and I thought I stood a chance with her. How stupid of me. 

I lay back down and stare at the ceiling until sleep takes me. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm incredibly sorry for taking so long with this chapter, life threw a curveball at me and I've been fumbling for the past week. This chapter is a bit short but only because it ended up being super long, so I chopped it in half for an extra chapter. 
> 
> Also, thank you all so much for reading this, I'm kind of super blown away by the number of reads.

I trudged up the steps to my room wanting to lay down and sober up a bit before talking to Felix about anything because I’d probably make an even greater fool of myself if I did it now. Yet on the other hand, maybe I need to be boozed up for some confidence. God, this was entirely too difficult and complicated than it needs to be. I just need to do it, rip the band-aid off. 

But first: water. Maybe some tea would be better. I went to the kitchen and filled my metal kettle with water and set it on the stove to boil. I didn’t like having to use metal because of the slight coppery taste if boiled for too long, but I haven’t been able to find a china kettle anywhere. I was incredibly relieved when I found Ceylon tea was still quite popular in Halcyon as it was on Earth. 

I let it brew for a few minutes and pour it into a teacup and stir some citrus and honey into it, sipping it gingerly. It burned my tongue but I sipped more anyway and sit in a comfy chair in the corner. 

“Ada?” I asked the small intercom near my head.

“Yes, Captain?” Ada’s flat voice rings out and I flinch back.

“Quieter, please. How did everyone fare while I was gone?” I cross my legs with a little difficulty due to the leather and blow on my tea. 

“Ellie and Max argued again but they went back to their rooms. Nyoka talked to Felix earlier when he got back and took the last few bottles of alcohol to her room and is passed out. Parvati and Sam are in the engine room trying to improve my fuel intake. Will that be all, Captain? I don’t find this conversation enjoyable.” 

I shake my head at her attitude, still astonished by her capability to joke and snark. “Um, can you tell me what Felix is doing? Is he busy right now?” 

She silent for a moment but her voice comes back through the comms, “I’m assuming by Felix’s vitals that he’s asleep right now. I should inform you that he was under incredible duress this evening. His heart rate drastically went up and his cortisol levels have stayed alarmingly high. Captain, if left untreated it could disrupt his sleep patterns, behaviors, mood, and efficiency out on missions.” 

I frown and I had to resist the urge to go straight to him and figure out what was wrong. “Do you know what caused this change?” 

“His levels were consistent but they started changing when he and Nyoka talked. Felix left and when he got back his levels were abysmal.” 

“Okay, so what did Felix and Nyoka talk about?”

“You may be the Captain, Captain, but private conversations aren’t mine to divulge. If you’re curious you can talk to Nyoka or Felix. Or both, you’re the Captain.” 

I sigh and sip my tea, trying to figure out what could have happened when I left. I wasn’t gone that long, maybe an hour at most. Where did Felix go in that time that got him so worked up? 

“Can you at least tell me when Felix left and got back?” I know I left around 8:45 because I noticed the clock when I got to the bar. 

“Felix left at 9:22 and came back at 9:27.”

Knowing this only confused me further. What in the world could happen in 5 minutes that had such an impact on him? It didn’t make sense. “And he’s physically fine? He’s not injured or anything?” 

“I don’t possess the technology to tell. Maybe you can get me the parts to allow that, next time you’re on the Groundbreaker.” Her words took on a lilt and it sounded so incredibly human it startled me for a second. 

“Uh, yeah, I’ll talk to Parvati about it. Thanks, Ada.” I finish my tea with a gulp, putting the cup in the sink and eyeing Felix’s room. I weighed the pros and cons of talking to him tonight but the dull throb in my forehead convinces me to do it tomorrow when booze isn’t in my system. 

I turn off the kitchen light and head to my room, shucking off my clothes and falling into my bed with a grunt. 

  
I woke to a banging on my door that resonated through my skull and I grimace as I sit up, the tension in my head unforgiving. 

“What?” I croak as I grab for pants and struggle to remain balanced enough to pull them on. 

The door opens before I can put a shirt on and I panic at the stomping footsteps. Nyoka’s pink head rounds the corner and I squeak in embarrassment, dragging my sheets over myself. She doesn’t seem to care that she’s just walked in on me getting dressed as she glares me down.

“What the hell, Violet? You were supposed to make Felix _jealous_ not break his heart!” The anger behind her eyes immediately makes my stomach plummet and I have to gulp through the guilt in my chest. 

“What are you talking about?” I drop the sheet for a t-shirt and step into my boots, shoving my arms into a wool cardigan.

She squints at me accusingly, “You kissed Grimm and Felix saw. The whole point of that date was to give Felix incentive to ask you out and you threw it away for an over-eager dummy that you don’t even like!” 

My guilt quickly turned to anger and I stood straighter, squaring my shoulders, “I know you’re upset but I’m still your Captain, Nyoka. If you can’t talk civilly, come back when you’re more composed.”

Her jaw visibly clenches and her nostrils flare as she forced a deep breath. She relaxes her stance and her shoulders lose tension, the air in the room clearing up immensely. 

“Thank you. Now, can you explain what you mean without yelling?” I lean against my desk with a sigh. 

“Why in the world would you kiss Grimm if you like Felix?” Nyoka still looked exasperated, which I couldn’t blame her for. 

I honestly had no idea how to respond because the truth is, I don’t know why I kissed him. I knew going in that I didn’t like him like that and that it wasn’t going to lead to a relationship. Kissing him was never part of the plan and going by what Nyoka said, it would’ve gone off without a hitch if I hadn’t let the alcohol turn me into a floozy.

I shrug and pick at the stitching on my cardigan, “I was wankered, I wasn’t thinking right.”

I look at Nyoka, waiting for a reply or a reaction but she’s just standing there with a frown, deep in thought. I must’ve really screwed up with Felix. It kind of made sense now, why his heart rate was up after his little 5-minute stroll. That’s most likely when he saw me kiss Grimm, which is stupid luck for him to catch that mishap when it was a very very small portion of the evening. God, I unknowingly crushed him because I can’t handle my booze and keep my hormones in check. 

Nyoka clears her throat and I look up, startled, realizing she was talking to me, “Pardon, one more time?” 

She looked a bit irritated as she sighed, “You still have to talk to him. He deserved an explanation, at the very least, because now he thinks I’m a liar.”

“A liar?”

She manages to look guilty as she tugs on a pink dread, “The only way to get him to stop moping around when you left was to tell him you had it bad for him.” 

My insecurities settle back in my chest and I grip the edge of the desk to ground myself. “Okay… how did he react?” 

The small smile on her lips reassured me slightly and she clasps her hands together, “Well, he started getting all fancy. Said he was going to talk to you.”

It feels like my heart convulses at her news and I bite my lip to refrain from smiling widely. I hope I can get him to understand my stupidity last night and apologize for being a wanker about my feelings. 

“What time is it? Is he up?” I quickly trade my wool cardigan for my favorite bomber jacket. 

“Yeah, he’s in the engine room with Parvati.” 

I pause and look at her incredulously, “And you don’t think that’s a bad idea? The last time he went in there he blocked Ada out from the controls! We were grounded for a week while Parvati worked on it!”

She shrugs and quirks her eyebrow, “Sure, but he’s being supervised this time, relax! Besides, you have more important things to worry about. Shoo!” She leads me out the door and nudges me down the stairs before turning and heading up. 

I suddenly remember what Nell asked of me last night and I call out to Nyoka before she disappears. Her head peeks out from the bannister and I smile at her, “Since you’re playing matchmaker, you should know that Nell’s looking for someone too. Someone with bright pink hair, for example.” I throw her a suggestive wink and leave her to ponder that, satisfied with her stunned blush. 


	8. Chapter 8

As I reach the main floor, I notice Sam dusting Ada’s monitor and I frown at her interface expression, catching a very… pleasured look on her face. I shake my head and hurry away from the scene. I’d rather not know what that’s about. 

As I approach the ladder leading up to the engine room, I hear a snippet of conversation from Parvati. 

“Oh man, if I could go anywhere in the system, I’d go to Hephaestus. Can you imagine what kind of equipment they have there? Sure it’s mainly mining stuff but what if they developed something completely unique, unseen by the rest of Halcyon? Oh, that would be extraordinary.” 

“Okay, I see how you got to that, but I meant literally  _ anywhere. _ ” Then comes Felix’s reply and I hesitate as I’m climbing the ladder. “Like what about Earth? What do you think it’s like right now? Do you think they have plasma scythes, too?” I could feel my face grow into a smile at his words. I love how curious he is, constantly wondering and asking questions that don’t necessarily have answers. 

I pull myself up and knock on the door frame of the engine room, smiling politely. Parvati turns around from her crouched position, holding a screwdriver. “Sorry to interrupt,” I look at Felix hoping my face looked sorry, “Can I talk to you for a moment?” 

Parvati shoots Felix a look, also noticing how tense he’s gotten and stands, brushing her hair away, “I just remembered that I haven’t eaten lunch yet!” She rushes past me and up the ladder to the kitchens, leaving Felix and me alone. 

He’s stiff as he avoids my gaze, fidgeting with his suspenders. “Good afternoon, Captain. Is there something wrong?” I could hear the emptiness in his voice and I cringe internally, knowing it’s because of me. 

I step into the red light of the engine room. “To be honest, yes. I want to apologize.” 

He blinks and looks at me with confusion, “Apol- why? For what?”

I clasp my hands trying to gather the courage to actually go through with this, suddenly doubting myself. “For one, last night, and also for not being honest with you. I owe you an explanation but I’m not expecting forgiveness or reciprocation.” I square my shoulders and take a deep breath, pushing past the wall of anxiety threatening to make me crumble. “I know you saw me kiss Grimm and that it hurt you. I got really drunk last night and I wasn’t thinking right when I did that. In fact, I left just after it because I don’t actually like him. I… went on that date, hoping that it would make you jealous…but I didn’t think of how it could go wrong. I should’ve just been honest about my feelings and told you that I like you, but I screwed up and I feel awful.” My guilt was becoming overwhelming and I started to word vomit, needing the silence to be filled with  _ something. _ “I shouldn’t have dragged Grimm into this but I’m a coward and I’ve hurt both of you within like 10 minutes. I meant to come back and be out with it all last night but Ada told me your vitals went crazy for a bit and that you fell asleep. If I’d known you saw I would’ve cleared it up sooner and I’m so sorry.” I take a shaky breath, realizing that he’s been silent this entire time. My knees wobble in a bad way and I genuinely fear that they’ll buckle under the thick air around me. 

Felix’s mouth opens but his eyebrows scrunch and he tilts his head with a confused expression, shaking his head and sighing. “So… you and Grimm. You don’t like like him?” I shake my head sternly. “But you like like me?” He pokes his chest with wide eyes and I nod softly, wanting to sink into the floor. “And that date? It was to make me jealous?” He looked so… hopeful, I didn’t want to think too much into it so I nod again. 

“Again, I’m really sorry. I should’ve told you straight up instead of complicating everything.” He starts to say something but blinks and stops, looking at me weirdly. I could feel my eyes starting to burn in humiliation and I step backward, “Well, thanks for hearing me out. I’ll talk to you later, I guess.” I turn to escape my burning face but Felix grabs my hand and pulls me back. 

“Violet, you didn’t even let me respond. Just let me think for a sec.” He gazes at me so intensely it felt like he was searching my soul for his response. Meanwhile, his fingers were achingly warm on mine and it took a  _ lot _ of effort to not lace our fingers together. He laughs breathily, looking down at our hands, “Law, I’m so bad at this, so I’m just gonna say it. I like you, too. I  _ like _ like you and I’m seriously relieved that you aren’t actually dating that doofus.” 

A nervous laugh bubbles up and I clear my throat, trying to look calm despite my heart beating hard. I was finding it hard to process this and I started feeling like my reaction was taking too long so I nod carefully, “So… not to pressure you or anything, but what now?” Feeling adventurous, I tap his thumb, bringing his attention to our joined hands. 

He rubs his thumb on the top of my hand, looking nervous as he bites his lip, but fuck, it really affected me. After what he just confessed, it would be appropriate to kiss him, right? Or should I ask first? Would it kill the mood if I asked? God, why am I so awful at this? It’s just question after question, you’d think I’d be better at talking with the amount of networking I had to do in the UK. 

The corner of his mouth turns down, “Uh, quick question. How long have you liked me?” 

I tense up, somehow blindsided by this question. I should have expected this since I was also curious about it. If I want this to work out, I know I have to be honest with him, but what if he’s weirded out by it? No, I need to stop doubting this. Screw it, “About 3 weeks after we picked you up, although you did charm me when we first met.” 

He heaves a sigh and smiled widely, “Thank the Law, I thought it was only me.” He stops and frowns, “So we could’ve been together all those months ago?”

Bloody hell, it really has been months. “I guess so, but it’s better late than never.” 

He reaches up to brush a lock of hair away, smiling so intimately I felt embarrassed for accepting the gaze. He cups my face and my body thrums with nervous energy. “It’s so much better.” He slowly leans in with his eyes closed and I panic, suddenly forgetting everything about kissing, so I close the distance in a rush and plant a heavy kiss on his lips, accidentally bumping our noses together. 

I lower my head in shame, pressing my face into his chest and mumbling apologies. He laughs abruptly and I cringe even more until he speaks, “It’s all good, Violet. As far as first kisses go, it was bad. At least you kissed my lips! My first, I completely missed her mouth and ended up slobbering on her chin.” 

I laugh despite myself and look up at him, surprised at his gentle gaze. “I know, it’s just… I’ve imagined our first kiss and that was definitely not it.” 

His eyebrows raise, “You imagined our first kiss, too? Wow, that’s actually really cool.” His thumb grazes my bottom lip and I lean into his touch. “How about I lead this time and then you can rate me?” 

I nod and take a deep breath. Felix pulls me closer, leaving a hand around my waist and the other gently holding my face. I wasn’t sure where to put my hands so I let them dangle until he leans back in and kisses me softly. My heart thumps in glee and my hands go straight to his biceps, hoping to hold him there for a moment longer. Thankfully, he gets the hint and deepens the kiss, tilting my chin and adding pressure. 

With a quiet groan he pulls back but I try to follow him, ending up encircled in his arms comfortingly. “Law, I could kiss you all day.” 

I wrap my arms around him and smirk up at him, somehow filled with confidence, “Why don’t we? Parvati has some stuff to do on the Groundbreaker but once we get there we could lock ourselves in my room.” 

His eyes fill with excitement and he nods, “Oh, I’m so down for that.” 

“I’ll go set the nav system to take us there, meet me in my room.” We separate but as I’m about to go down the ladder, he pulls me in for a quick and heated kiss, smacking me lightly on my arse, causing me to squeak in surprise. 

“Hurry up, Vi, I’m not a patient man.” He winks and climbs the ladder to the kitchens, leaving me flustered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so incredibly sorry it's taken me this long to put this chapter out. This chapter was really awkward for me to write, plus it's pretty lengthy. 
> 
> E FOR EXPLICIT
> 
> This chapter has some graphic adult language/descriptions, so don't read if you aren't privvy to that.

Felix was waiting for me in my room with a bottle of Purpleberry Wine and two glasses. 

“Sorry, I’m a bit nervous still. Do you want some?” He offers me a glass and I take it, sipping from it gingerly. 

“Don’t let me overdo it, alright? I don’t want a replay of last night.” I sit on my desk in front of Felix, eyeing the wine warily. 

He nods and ponders something for a moment. “This might be moving fast… but I was wondering if we could get closer?” He looked unsure of his words and I try to figure out what he means by ‘closer’. 

I hesitantly step down from my desk, eyeing the chair to size up how much weight it could possibly handle. I take a large gulp of wine, grab his glass, and put them both down before steeling my nerves and straddling his lap. I’m suddenly thankful for the lack of arms. 

Felix sucks in a breath of surprise, careful not to touch me but I take his hands and rest them on my hips. “Is this close enough for you?” 

His face burns brightly as he smooths his hands over my hips, rubbing softly. “I-It’s a start, yeah.” 

I could already feel the wine working at my self-restraint, especially knowing that he’s wanked off to the thought of me before. I grip his chin and raise it to get him to look at me better. “How about we play a game?” 

His fingers twitch and he gulps, “Okay, but I think I’ll need another drink.” I nod and lean back, pushing into him slightly as I reach for the bottle, delighting in the quiet gasp I get from him. His fingers tighten momentarily before he takes the bottle from me and takes a deep drink, offering me some. “What game are you thinking of?”

It was definitely a cliche, but I wanted to tease him as the wine settles, “Truth or dare. It’s a classic.” 

He blinks in surprise, “Geez, I haven’t played that in a while. Last time I played drunk I went streaking down the promenade.” 

I laugh thinking of how confused people must’ve been just seeing a naked man sprinting up and down the decks. “So you don’t refuse dares. Duly noted.” I give him a sly smile, taking another sip of wine and settling into his lap better. “If you refuse to truthfully answer a question, you have to take a drink, got it? You can go first.” 

“Alright, truth or dare?” 

“Hm, let’s go with truth.” 

He smiles mischievously, “Can you see me in your bed someday?” His cheeks glowed from the wine and I knew this game would be fun. 

I playfully purse my lips, “I don’t know…” His expression falls before I continue, “We might not make it to my bed.” I drag my finger down his chest, desperately wanting to see underneath.

He groans and tightens his grip on my hips, “Shit, Violet. You’re making this really hard for me.”

I laugh at him, twirling a lock of his hair around my finger, “Truth or dare, Felix?” He takes a measured breath before answering with truth. I can’t help but smile, “Have you ever touched yourself while thinking of me?” 

His eyes widen and he chokes on nothing, taking his hands off me as if I burned him, “No! Never! Why would you think that?” 

Feeling very emboldened by the wine, I take his hand and let it graze my breast, putting the other directly on my arse. “It’s alright if you have. Since we’re being honest…” I lean in close to his ear, “I have too.” 

I can feel the shiver run through him and I gasp as he squeezes my arse. I lean back to look at him, only to have him roughly pull me back in for a heated kiss. He circles his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against him as he licks my bottom lip. My heart is thudding against my chest so hard I’m near positive he hears it. I weave my fingers through his hair and tug, earning an appreciative moan into my mouth that vibrates down to my core. 

I manage to push him away for a moment to breathe, noticing how light-headed I felt. “Truth or dare?” 

“But it’s my turn?” Felix pants, sliding his hands under my shirt to stroke my back. 

“Nope, mine. Hurry and choose.” I could feel his arousal poking my thigh and I was getting impatient. 

“Uh- dare.” He presses kisses to my jaw and bites my earlobe, dragging a low moan from my mouth which causes a jerk in his pants. 

“I dare you to take off my shirt.” I’m still struggling to catch my breath and I’m relieved that I’m wearing my prettiest underwear set. 

He bites his lip as his hands ghost their way up my stomach to pull my shirt over my head and tossing it wherever. His eyes rake my chest and he keeps his hands around my hips and waist, obviously nervous to venture north. 

“Felix,” I move my hips to get a reaction from his pants, nearly satisfied with the jerk of attention, “Touch me.” 

He still looked unsure, but his warm hands trailed up my back and under my arms to my breasts, where he held them for a moment, admiring them. I lean down to capture his lips, biting soft enough to tease, and it works. He kisses back with vigor, massaging my breasts through my bra and scooting a bit down in the chair to press into me more. I gasp at the heat between my legs and focus on not grinding down, wanting to do this somewhat proper. 

His fingers played with my bra clasp and he pulls back a smidge, “Can I?” At my nod, he struggles to get the clasps off for a minute. Just as I’m about to offer help he unclasps the last one and huffs in relief, sliding the straps down my shoulders and tossing my bra off. 

He stares at me for a long moment with a dazed smile, flicking his thumb under my breast to get a reaction from me. It was working but I was only getting frustrated with the lack of actual touching so I grind down hard, both of us gasping at the sensation. And suddenly his mouth is on my breast, tongue circling my nipple and pinching the other. My fingers go back to his hair in encouragement. 

Felix switches between each breast and then latches onto my neck, nibbling on my pulse and pressing kisses against my collarbone. I recoil at the cold metal button on his jacket and lightly push his face away and tug at his clothes. He sits up to help take them off, flinging them behind me. His chest hair was dark and sparse, more of a light dusting across his chest and I run my hands down him, loving the warmth of him. He tilts his head back with a low moan as I brush his nipples and I smile, leaning down to press sloppy kisses to his jaw and trailing down his neck to his nips. He jumps in his pants and groans when I grind into him.

His hands slip into my pants to cover my bare arse and grip me roughly, pulling me closer for more friction but there’s still far too much clothing on. I unbutton my jeans and climb off of Felix to wiggle them down my legs and stepping out of them, shimmying my hips for Felix to admire. 

His eyes darken with lust as he watches me. He brings up with his hands slowly, “Can I…?” I nod and he grabs my hips, pulling me close and turning me around to press kisses along my spine, trailing soft touches up my legs which were starting to turn to jelly, so I grip the desk for support. His kisses get lower and lower until he reaches my knickers and he massages my hips for a moment until his hands disappear and I turn to look at him, only to catch his hungry gaze as his fingers hook into my panties and slowly drags them down. I step out of them on his command, noticing the wet spot on them, igniting my arousal even more. 

He pats the desk and I scoot up to sit on it, shivering as he drags his hands down my thighs and parts them at the knee. I had half a mind to be self-conscious but the look on his face calmed my fears. 

He looks me over carefully, eyes slowing over my exposed lips and the swell of my breasts before he kisses me so sweetly it takes my breath away. “You’re so beautiful, Vi.” The nickname mixed with the playful graze on along my inner thigh had me sighing in content. 

Felix drops to his knees and presses his lips to my knee and making his way inside, blowing against me and I wriggle at the coolness. His hands circle my hips and jerks me closer to the edge, pushing my leg over his shoulder when he finally pushes his tongue against me. I arch my back at the warmth, realizing this is the first time anyone’s ever gone down on me. I have to bite my lips to keep from moaning too loudly, but I nearly lose it as he flicks my clit and sucks on it. I grip his hair and lean back, pinching my nipple for extra stimulation. Felix looks up at me and groans into me, reaching up and taking over for my fingers, rubbing, massaging, and pinching wonderfully. 

He slips a finger in and I jerk in surprise, making a weird noise in response. He curls his finger exploratorily, rubbing something amazing. “D-do that again!” He somehow pushes further in and curls, rubbing the spot harder and I moan, bucking into his face. He pulls away and I whimper at the loss of his finger. 

  
“Don’t move, Vi.” He presses his thumb against my clit and circles it, smiling at my reaction. “I’m gonna put another in, alright?” At my nod he replaced his finger, curling for a moment before adding another, stretching me comfortably. 

“I should warn you,” I manage to pant, “I’m like, super tight and I’m sorry in advance.” 

“What are you sorry for? Isn’t being… tight a good thing?” Felix continues pumping his fingers inside me, curling on the downstroke. 

“Well, yeah, but only like 2 guys have been able to fit.” The next pump was quicker and I held back a moan to focus on his response. 

His smirk was confident, “Don’t worry, I’m prepping you. Worst-case scenario I put it in your butt.” I smack his shoulder as we share a laugh before he goes back in with his tongue. He scissors his fingers and adds another finger, stretching me a bit uncomfortably. I relax into the steady pumping and sigh when he sucks gently on my clit. The pressure was starting to build up in my abdomen and I knew I was close. 

“F-faster, please.” I bit down on my knuckle, leaning back further and pulling him closer with my leg as he accommodates me and curls his fingers and hits my spot each time. I’m nearly shaking when I spill over the edge, tensing up and moaning loudly, arching my back. Felix pulls me up into a kiss and I can taste myself on his tongue, tangy but kinda sweet. I hold his face in my hands to deepen the kiss, pressing my breasts against his bare chest. 

I let my hands travel down his chest and over the smooth contours of his muscles to unbuckle his pants and push them down with my feet. He moaned into my mouth as I gripped him through his boxers, surprised by the girth and worried it wouldn’t fit. 

I slip my hand under his knickers and run my thumb over the slit to find it weeping with pre-cum. “Bloody hell, Felix. I didn’t know you were packing so much.” His chuckle is soft and vibrates through my chest. “Uh, do you mind if I…?” The implication was clear enough but I was too embarrassed to say it aloud. 

Thankfully he understands and nods eagerly but clears his throat and shrugs, “I mean, only if you want to.” I assure him that I do, so he lowers his boxers and sits in the chair, his erection bouncing on his stomach. I gulp at the size of him, slightly intimidated but determined to try. Besides, I’ve surprised myself in the past, maybe I can do the same with Felix. 

I kneel in front of him and trail my nails along his thighs, blowing on his dick softly and causing it to jump to attention. I lick the tip tentatively, wanting to get comfortable before trying much else. He inhales sharply as I take in his head and circle it with my tongue, dragging it across his slit. 

“Fuck, I never thought this would happen.” Felix grips the sides of the chair and watches me with hungry eyes. I smirk at him and flatten my tongue against his base and go up, bringing my hand in to gently pump his base. I took him in my mouth again and spread my spit to make it glide easier. I accidentally scrape him with my teeth on the way down but instead of grimacing as I expect, he jerks in my mouth and moans. His hands find their way into my hair as he guides my movements a bit. I relax my throat, proud that I could nearly take him all the way. I use my other hand to massage his balls, noting the tightness of them and realizing he’s just about ready to come. 

I twist my hand and suck my cheeks in on the way up, resulting in him bucking his hips and I do it again. His moans filled my ears and encouraged me to try something different. With the hand massaging his balls, I slide a finger back to graze his arsehole and he jumps, eyes snapping to mine with surprise. His eyebrows crease for a split-second but he bites his lip and nods for me to continue. I circle his hole softly and continue pumping his dick but sitting back to watch his reactions. 

He was flushed down to his neck and ears, his mouth forming an ‘O’ the more I prodded his hole. His balls were tightening even more and I went in for the cherry on top. I relax my throat as much as I can and ease myself all the way down his shaft until my nose was flush with his pubes. His hand returns the back of my head as I suck him as best I can without gagging. To finish him off I slip my finger into his hole up to the first knuckle and he groans, tensing up as he comes in the back of my throat, causing me to choke in surprise, but I don’t let up until he’s limp and panting. 

I swallow his cum with a smile. It was kind of salty but it was still fine. Felix pulls me up to sit in his lap and kisses me deeply, humming at the taste of himself on my tongue. “Law, that was incredible, thank you, Violet.” He wraps his arms around me with a peaceful smile, nuzzling into my neck. 

“No, thank you. That was the first time I’ve been eaten out.” I rest my chin on the top of his head and sink into his embrace. I was still really wet but Felix wasn’t ready for another go, so I run my fingers through his silky hair. 

“Well it was kind of awesome, I’m not gonna lie.” His laugh vibrates through my chest warmly. His hands ran over my shoulder blades and down my back to cup my arse, spreading them and kissing my shoulder. “Do you still wanna see if I can fit in you?” 

I lean back to look at him, “Of course, I’m giving you time to recharge.” I sink lower to slide my lips over his semi-hard dick, relishing in his soft groan as he squeezed my arse. “Although, I didn’t think it would be so soon.” I stand and lead him to my bed, pushing him down and straddling him. 

“Wow, Vi, I didn’t take you as a dom.” He folds his arms under his head to smile up at me cheekily. 

I sit over his dick to give him an idea of what’s to come, “Well since I’m more prepared than you are at the moment, I think it’s appropriate that I’m on top.” 

He quirks his eyebrow at me, “Don’t worry, that’ll change soon.” He bucks his hips up and I gasp at the pressure. 

“Until then, I’m in charge, so don’t get cocky.” I grind on him to prove my seriousness, smiling at his moan and shift in mood. I lean down to capture his lips, thrumming in excitement as his hands find my thighs and trails feathery touches up them, slightly tickling me. 

Our tongues dance lazily as I feel him starting to harden beneath me. I brush my fingers through his hair and tug gently, delighting in the jerk of his dick. 

Felix groans and pulls back a bit to mutter, “Law, you’re so hot.” He slides his hand down my belly and teases my clit before plunging his fingers into me. I rest my head on his shoulder and bite back my moans as he scissors his fingers and kneads his knuckle into my bundle of nerves. “And you’re so wet, Violet,” He whispers in my ear as his other hand pinches my nipple and I’m suddenly very impatient.

“I need you, Felix. Are you ready?” I sit up and grind on his hand, reaching down for his dick to feel how hard he was and smiling at him as he stands straight up, already leaking pre-cum. 

He nods stiffly as I run my thumb over his slit to spread his cum. I gather some spit and rub it over his dick and then rub myself with him for extra lubrication. I align him up to my opening and lower myself until it felt uncomfortable. I couldn’t tell how far he was so I ask Felix.

“Uh, you made it like 2 inches past the tip.” He evenly breathes out. 

Yep, he’s bigger than I thought, but I push myself down more, withholding a grimace until I meet his hips with mine. I could feel how rigid Felix was and how hard it was for him to stay still while I adjust, so I kiss a trail up his chest to his lips as he slowly relaxes again.

The sting finally felt bearable so I lift up to test the waters, smiling at how perfect he fit inside me and come down hard, groans emanating from both of us. Felix’s hands go to my waist as he bucks up into me, hitting my wall with surprising force and I gasp at the wave of pleasure that rolled down my legs. 

I start grinding down on him and bite my lip at his flushed face and look of awe. As much as the grinding felt good for my clit, I wanted to feel him hit my walls again, so I grasp his hand for balance as I start to bounce on his dick, immediately moaning. Felix plants his feet and meets me with his own thrusts, getting into a sensual rhythm.

After a particularly sharp jut, I have to pause because of the intense jolt of pleasure. Felix took complete advantage of my break by sitting up, wrapping his arms around me and flipping us so he’s firmly on top. Feeling his weight on my pelvis as he kisses my neck drove me crazy and I raise my hips for friction, shivering as he moans my name in my ear. He sits upon his knees, pulling my legs up over his shoulder and pushing further into me than before and I don’t care about the wanton noise that comes from my throat. 

Felix doesn’t disappoint as he confidently sets a pace that kept me on my toes. He slows down just as I could feel the pit in my belly grow and I groan at him, “Don’t you dare stop!” 

“Oh, I’m not. I’m just slowing down, Vi. Got a problem with that?” He gazes at me with so much lust in his eyes that it sends chills up my spine. 

“Felix, if you don’t fuck me, I’m getting back on top.”

He quirks his eyebrow at me and juts into me sharply, making me gasp, “Like that?”

At my nod, he picks up the pace and puts my leg down to get even deeper inside of me, hitting my wall nearly every single time and building that pressure up higher and higher until I’m so loud, Felix has to kiss me to muffle me. I could feel myself on the edge and after a few more sharp thrusts, he throws me over and I come so hard that I have to close my eyes for a moment. 

When I open my eyes, Felix is laying over me breathing heavily and pinching my chin with worry in his eyes.

“Are you okay, Violet?” 

I wipe sweat from my forehead, “Yeah, I’m amazing, why do you ask?” 

He laughs nervously, “Well you passed out, for one. Also, you were shaking bad, I got really worried.” 

“What? I just closed my eyes to catch my breathing!” I look down and notice his flaccid dick. I sit up, covering myself with my sheet, only to feel warmth ooze out of me. I touch myself to check and frown at the sticky cum dripping out of me. “Did you...cum inside of me?” 

He looks down guiltily, “I didn’t plan on it! I was gonna pull out but then you came and you clenched around me so tightly, I couldn’t, and it felt so good that I...finished. I’m sorry.” 

I withhold my grimace, feeling his cum getting all over my sheets, “It’s alright. I’m gonna go clean up, then.” 

As I stand and put on my shirt and sweats, he grabs my wrist, “Wait, are you mad at me? I’m really sorry, Violet! I didn’t mean-”

“I said it’s alright, Felix. Stop worrying.” I brush his hair off his forehead and kiss him. “That was wonderful, thank you. I’ve got a rag in my bin and water on the desk. Clean up and get in bed, I’ll be back.” 

He hums in my mouth as I kiss him again, grabbing my butt with a firm squeeze. I smile at him and excuse myself to go to the bathroom. 

As I’m entering the kitchen, someone shouts my name and I jump, heart beating wildly. I whip around to see Nyoka, leaning in her room’s doorway with a smug look on her face. 

“Bloody hell, Nyoka! Don’t do that!” 

She rolls her eyes and swaggers towards me, “You should know that your walls are very thin. I heard you guys from all the way up here.” 

I could feel my face heat up and I groan, “Oh god, is anyone else on the ship?” 

She shakes her head and I sigh in relief. “I feel weird saying this since you just did the deed, but I’m glad you worked it out.” She gives me a smile and goes back to her room, closing it behind her. 

I sigh and rub my face, thoroughly embarrassed. I hurry to clean up so I can get back to Felix.


	10. Chapter 10

I awake to a soft jostling on my side and I’m greeted by Felix’s soft smile as I open my eyes. 

“Good morning, Boss. I got our shower basket and some towels. The crews still asleep, we should get in the shower before it gets wild.” 

I begrudgingly nod but pull him in for a quick kiss, sitting up. “Go take that stuff up there, I’ll grab our clothes.” Felix leaves and I rummage through our bin for clean clothes, smiling fondly at a picture of us at the base of the volcano on Terra 2. 

It’s been roughly three months since our first tryst and we didn’t waste much time to tell the rest of the crew. Somehow, Phinneas heard of our relationship and tried to lecture me about distractions, but after a couple of weeks supervising my progress, he admitted that Felix doesn’t hinder my mission. In fact, Felix was one of the front runners on our rescue mission when Phinneas was captured. After that, Phinneas acknowledged that Felix saved his life and offered to modify his favorite tossball stick. 

After we thawed The Hope, the story of my journey got out and citizens rallied behind me, demanding Chairman Rockwell step down and turn himself in. He holed himself in his office for weeks, but due to lack of food, he surrendered and I took his place. Halcyon’s still working through changes and I haven’t even scratched the surface of what needs to be worked on, but the support from the crew has made things much more manageable. I’ve implemented a board of directors who were carefully selected by Phinneas, Felix, and me, who take care of most of the political stuff. I’m only needed for overseeing and big decisions, which means I’m still able to go out and help others on a more personal level. 

Just this week, Felix, Nyoka, and I have been tracking a serial killer on Monarch. We found her hiding out in Fallbrook and brought her to Byzantium for trial. We were so exhausted last night, we didn’t bother to eat or shower, we just went straight to bed. 

I ball our clothes up and hurry to the shower, glad that he got us up early. Felix already has the water running and steam fogged up the mirror as I lock the door behind me.

“Hey babe,” Felix grabs me by my shirt, “What took you so long?” 

He helps me out of my clothes, “I couldn’t find matching socks.” I step under the hot stream and sigh as my muscles relax. 

He chuckles, “Shoulda known, you’re really weird about matching.” 

I turn and smack his shoulder, “I don’t hear you complaining when I help coordinate your outfit.” 

“Easy, easy!” He kisses my temple, “I think it’s cute. Now turn around.” I frown but oblige. I hear a click and then his fingers are massaging shampoo in my hair. I close my eyes and relax against him. He tilts my head to rinse and presses a kiss to my shoulder. 

I grab the shampoo and do the same for him, standing as tall as I can to reach the top of his head. I massage my fingers through his waves as he hums the song I sang him from Earth. 

“Hey, what’s that song called again?” He rinses the shampoo as I lather body wash into a rag. 

“Fly Me to the Moon.” I press the sudsy rag to his back and rub any tension away. 

Felix turns around before I’m done with his back and looks at me softly. He grabs my hand, “Would it be weird if I said I love you?” 

My heart somersaults and my breath gushes out in a rush. He loves me? Oh god, do I love him back? Of course, I do, now that I think about it it’s obvious. 

I shake my head. 

“Then… I love you.” He kisses my knuckles with a smile in his eyes and my heart melts. 

I close the space between us and rest my sudsy hand on his cheek, “I love you. In other words, darling, kiss me.” 

He breaks out in a large smile, “You seriously have no idea how much I love that song. It reminds me of you.” 

His arms are warm around my waist and all I want to do is take him back to bed and snuggle under the covers. Instead, I get up on my tiptoes and press a wet kiss to his lips. He bends down for another kiss, opening my lips with his tongue and swiping playfully. I gasp into his mouth as I feel his erection suddenly poke my inner thigh. I slide a hand down his chest and belly to firmly grip his dick, delighting in the deep rumble in the back of his throat. 

He pulls back with labored breathing, “We should probably finish up here so we can go back to bed.” 

I nod in agreement, “Smart.” 

We scrubbed each other quickly, sneaking touches and kisses in between while imagining what we’d do when we go back to the room. We didn’t even bother getting dressed, we just ran through the kitchen as quick as possible, thankfully not running into anybody. We spent an hour in bed before we tired ourselves out and talked about the kind of music there was on Earth and how we could bring it back or make new music. 

“So you meant it?” Felix asks. 

I assume he’s talking about the shower. “Of course. Did you?” 

He nuzzles my neck, “Duh, how could I not love you?”

I run my fingers through his hair with a smile, “It’s just a bit surreal to think that someone loves me. Like, romantically.” 

“I get what you mean. It’s hard to find someone on the Groundbreaker that doesn’t completely suck. Even then, my reputation precedes me and they’d treat me like garbage for being a back bay rat.” 

I sigh, “As awful as that is, I’m kind of glad for it. If you were in a relationship, would you have even asked to board my ship?” 

He’s silent for a moment. “Huh. I don’t think so. I usually put my all into whoever I’m with so I probably wouldn’t have wanted to leave. I guess I’m glad, too. You’ve taught and shown me so much of Halcyon, I was already super lucky that you let me come. But then falling for you…” He looks at me and caresses my cheek, “I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the universe.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for going on this journey with me, I'm so in love with this game, it's insane. If you haven't already, please tap on that kudos button, it really inspires me to keep writing. I super appreciate feedback so comment if you have any compliments and/or criticisms.


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